Don't Care, Can't Care

 I don't feel all of this now, but I do feel some of it. I hope I don't go here completely. I'm trying not to, except for the "quick and passive" part. As soon as I get my apartment the way I want it (the way I want to be remembered) I'll be more than ready. 

Fetal position

Warm blanket

Cool pillow

Should be comfortable

But

Anticipation of the

Shrill meep meep meep of the alarm

Keeps me from getting that

Extra 45 minutes

Suck it in

Trying to fasten one of

Only two pairs of pants that

Fit me

Why can’t I get

One of those sicknesses that make you

Lose weight

Then again

I don’t remember

The last time

I ate a vegetable

But

Anxiety attacks in the

Produce section

Healthy women in

Yoga pants and

Perky ponytails

Look at me with pity

Or

I think they do

I wouldn’t do it

Probably

But

After a bad car crash

I wouldn’t fight

Sometimes

I wish for a crash

Or

Something else

Quick and

Passive

Can’t

Concentrate

Can’t

Find the right words

Can’t

Sleep

Can’t

Make phone calls

Can’t

Get warm

Can’t

Stop sweating

Can’t

Read

Can’t

Write

Can’t

Get rid of the headaches

Can’t

Care