Due to lack of interest (mine) and the length of time that's gone by since my last post, I'm not going to finish writing about the bus trip. Anyone who wants to know about it can e-mail me.

I have a few observations and odd thoughts to share:

Everytime I hear the promo for CSI: Miami, I think of that Will Smith song. Drives me nuts.

How long did it take the Trading Spaces people to find a gay designer with no personality? I didn't think there was such a thing. Edward must go!

Free CinnaStix rule! (You can laugh now, Nick.)

I'm pretty sure Tony Soprano's going to boink the FBI chick.

Does Ben Affleck know he's gay?

Ann-Margaret is still a babe, but she sure was hot in Viva Las Vegas!

I'm concerned about my new Elvis obsession. (Thanks Nick)

Um. I think that's it for now. Back to the novel. I hate editing. I don't believe I used to do it for a living.

The Bad Bus Trip -- Day One -- Part Three -- Bummin' in Barstow

My happiness upon arriving in Barstow was short-lived. We pulled into the bus station at 5:05 p.m. -- 5 minutes after the snack bar/gift shop closed. My well-laid-out plan of spending part of the 2-hour and 45-minute layover there eating dinner was scrubbed. But the Sun Chips were good. They would have been much better if there had been water in the vending machines to wash them down with. I'd only been gone for 3 hours and I already had to dip into my emergency water reserve that was supposed to last 2 1/2 days.

The good thing about Barstow was that Terrorist Freak Boy and I parted company there.

I don't really remember how I killed time until 7:30. I just know I couldn't spend a lot of time outside because it was about 110 degrees. I couldn't spend a lot of time inside because of the loud, obnoxious, uncontrollable 2-year-old who was running amok. I pretty much split my time between inside and outside. I wished I still smoked. I briefly contemplated getting a half-smoked cigarette out of the ashtray near the door of the terminal. If I thought no one would catch me doing it, I probably would have.

At 7:30 I took my bag outside to wait for my bus, which was scheduled to arrive at 7:50. I'd had about enough of the 2-year-old as I could handle. Because all the bus station employees leave at 6 p.m., at 8 p.m. I asked the Pinkerton Security guard if he knew anything about the 7:50 bus. "It's always late," he said, "except when it doesn't show up. That happens sometimes." Great.

At about the time I learned that I would most likely be in Barstow until 11:15, when the next bus to Vegas got there, a bus leaving for Los Angeles pulled away. It's a mystery to me as to how the bus driver and the other passengers on the bus failed to notice the elderly couple running behind the bus, waving their arms and shouting. I felt bad for them. They didn't speak English and neither I nor the security guard speak Spanish. Eventually, the security guard found someone via walkie-talkie who could explain to them that they were stuck there 'til 4:30 a.m.

And I thought I had it bad. At least my Barstow experience ended at about 11:30 p.m. Next stop -- Vegas, baby.

The Bad Bus Trip -- Day One -- Part Two -- Speaking of Terrorists ...

I'm pretty sure I sat next to a terrorist-in-the-making from Bakersfield to Barstow. His name is Kevin. He's from Missouri. I know his last name and what city he's from, but I'm afraid of a slander suit so I won't print that. However, I'm begging any high school guidance counselors from Missouri to watch for warning signs from any Kevins you may talk to.

Kevin's hero is his brother's best friend -- a white supremesist (sp?) who sports a Hitler mustache. Kevin hates California. Why? Mexicans. "California's full of Mexicans," he said. "How can you like a state that has so many Mexicans? Ship them all back to Mexico. They're worthless pieces of shit. All of them." Of course I should have told him that one of my best friends is half Mexican, but I was afraid. As if the fact that this teen-ager has such a deep hatred for an entire ethnic group wasn't enough to be frightened of, the racial make-up of the 50-passenger bus was 6 Caucassians, 7 African-Americans, 5 Asians, 2 Indians and 30 Mexicans. I was afraid Kevin was going to start a race war.

I tried ignoring the little freak, but every time I turned my head he nudged or tapped my arm to make sure I was paying attention. Thank God for the McDonald's in Mojave. When the bus made a stop, Freak Boy got out to smoke a cigarette. I took the opportunity to get out my WalkMan. I didn't even have it turned on, but the headphones on my ears kept him from talking to me. Instead of listening to him or the WalkMan I kept thinking up future headlines like "Teen gunman targets Taco Bell."

I never thought I'd be so happy to arrive in Barstow.

The Bad Bus Trip -- Day One -- Part One -- Homeland Insecurity

I walked up to the ticket counter in Bakersfield and asked for a one-way ticket to Bradford, Pa. The girl asked for my name and phone number but didn't ask for a driver's license or any other kind of ID. When they "checked" my bag, all they did was put a tag on it to show when I'd have to pick it up for transfers (which ended up being a f'ing joke). No one even asked to look at, let alone inside, my backpack.

While we were waiting for the bus to arrive, a man sitting near us got up and went outside the bus station, but left his bag on the floor. No one seemed to notice besides us. He eventually came back but, let me tell you, we were more than a little nervous about that.

I'd like to say security was better during the next three days, but I'm sad to say I can't. Cleveland was the best and it wasn't all that hot. What happened in Vegas made me even more leary than if they'd done nothing. But more on that later.

I guess what I learned is that Greyhound doesn't think terrorists ride buses.

I could post every day about how much I miss Nick, but I'm sure all (8) of you -- even Nick -- would get pretty sick of reading that. So, to save you all the boredom --- I miss Nick x 30 (or however many more days we're going to be apart.

I could also post updates on my mom, but you'd probably get bored with that as well. So I'll just post if there's anything earth-shattering. For now, all is well.

So, what am I going to post about? The bus trip from hell. I must blog about it to purge it from my system before it eats me up inside and I'm afraid to get on the bus to go home. If only I could count on Amtrak. That'd be the way to go. It was fairly cool last time. I deal better with being a few hours late as opposed to an entire day.

Using WebTV to blog sucks.

That is all.

I thought the label on the bottle of darvocet said every 4 hours, but it really said every 6 hours. That explains a lot.

I really believe that people over 40 are not meant to travel cross-country on a bus. I think I aged 6 years in those 4 days. And, yes, it was only supposed to be 2+ days on the bus. I'll explain sometime. Let me just start out by saying it was hell. Pure hell. Ya know, maybe being over 40 has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's just traveling cross-country on a bus that sucks. Actually, traveling cross-country sucks. Period. I wish there was an easy, cheap way to get from California to Pennsylvania and back. When you were a kid did you ever wish you were Jeannie or Samantha so you could blink or twitch your nose and get what you want? Well, that's what I want now.

I'm going to be gone for a while. I'm not really sure how long though. My mom is in the hospital and, seeing as my brother who lives in Boston and my sister who lives near Cleveland can't seem to free up their schedules to go help her, I'm going to make the 2-day+16-hour bus trip from Bakersfield to Pennsylvania to make sure she's ok. I was going to go in 3 weeks anyway and stay for a couple weeks. But now, who knows how long I'll be there? Talking to Mom on the phone doesn't really tell me anything. One minute she sounds ok, the next minute she's so out of breath she can barely talk. I'm hoping the doctor knows something by later today so my imagination isn't running wild during the bus trip.

Why am I taking the bus? I'm a chicken! I don't want to be anywhere near LAX. I hate flying in the first place and LAX just scares the crap outta me right now.

Why may I not be blogging for a while? Mom has WebTV. Although she calls it her computer (She's 74 so it's cute, don't you think?) it doesn't quite cut it. Know what I mean? Also, as far as I know, you can post to Blogger using WebTV, but can't publish. Maybe Nick will be nice and get in here and publish for me. *s*

Note to Nick: I'm sorry about the Joey Bear obsession.

Anyway, This is our ninth full day of being non-smokers and it hasn't been easy. Yesterday when I found out Mom was in the hospital was the worst day of all. But I made it. Yay me!

Note to Steve: If you happen to read this, see ya in BFD? I'll email you with the new WebTV addy I'm going to create.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Don't forget me while I'm gone, ok?

Well, Nick and I finally did it. We quit smoking. Cutting down just wasn't working. We did go from 2 1/2 to 3 packs a day (I can't believe I smoked that much!!) down to 10 cigarettes a day, but that just wasn't good enough. We got sick of the smell, the cost, the way it made us feel, the time we wasted (especially since we vowed to not smoke in the new house), everything about it. Eventually, we just got sick of smoking all together. There wasn't even one thing we liked about it. We realized we couldn't do it without help (at least we couldn't before, so why set ourselves up for failure again) so a couple weeks ago we decided we'd buy one more carton and when it was gone, the next day we'd start the patch. So, as of the time I'm typing this, we've been smoke-free for 2 days, 2 hours, 58 minutes and 10 seconds, and we've saved $8.40. Yay us!

Here's another test I couldn't resist.








via mikey

I'm so disgusted by this. What's next? Does he try to get "In God We Trust" taken off our currency? If he's so morally opposed to the government forcing religion on us, I think he should stop using money. Wouldn't want him to go against his principles, ya know? And when there's a terrorist attack in California I have to wonder if the phrase "Oh my God" will cross his lips.

The phrase "under God" in the pledge is not condoning religion. As Ghandi said, God has no religion. "Under God," to me, means whatever God you believe in and, I'm sure the number of believers is astronomically higher than the number of non-believers in this country. I suppose the fact that this guy could get away with this kind of nonsense is a testament to how great the U.S. really is. But I think this has gone way overboard.

I'll probably write more about this later, when I've had time to think about it a little more, and when I'm a little less angry. But, for now, I'll find comfort in knowing that the 9th Circuit is the most liberal and the most overturned appeals court in the country.

We're lovin' the new house -- all 1500 square feet of it! I've spent a lot of my time in the backyard, working on the rock/cactus garden, watering plants and flowers, making sure the pond stays filled, watering and weeding the parts we set aside for grass. We could have had it landscaped, but we decided we wanted to do it ourselves because it would be more rewarding that way. We're kind of going for a faux feng shui look. Kind of. You'll have to see it to understand. *s* One of these days, when we're not on the laptop anymore, I'll post some pix.

As for the inside of the house, we're still unpacking, but we've got quite a bit done. Well, I say that, then I remember we still have a lot in storage. It's a little bit scary to think about that. Anyway, Nick and I are starting to get our bedroom the way we want it. He did a little bit of painting. It's so easy to do what you want when you're starting with freshly painted white walls. It's like a blank canvas just waiting for you to create something. He's also working on our office. Our desks are pretty close to each other, which is different. In the apartment, he worked upstairs and I worked downstairs. I'm sure this will take some getting used to, but we'll be fine. At least we won't have to yell up and down the stairs to each other (or e-mail each other) when we want something.

Did I mention how huge our kitchen is? It's big, big, big and we love it! At the apartment two of us could barely fit comfortably. Now, you could fit a whole football team in there. Well, almost. But it's big! And .... the house came with a brand new stove, dishwasher and microwave, not to mention so much cupboard and drawer space we don't even know what to do with it. There are some cupboards that have like one thing on one shelf. *s*

Well, you're probably bored by now, and I have stuff to do. I hope to be back here soon though.

I haven't done an online test in ages, and I really don't miss them. But now that I'm hooked on "Trading Spaces" I couldn't resist doing this one. I'll admit I did it twice though. The first time I was Laurie and I can't stand her. I'm pretty happy about how it came out the second time, 'cause she's my favorite.




take the which one of the trading spaces cast are you? quiz!

A few months ago, I mentioned something to Nick about hanging sheets outside to dry because I love the way they smell. He turned his nose up, looked at me like I'm crazy (this was a different look than the one he usually gives me when he looks at me like I'm crazy) and didn't really say anything. The subject didn't come up again until yesterday. I washed sheets, hung them outside in the hot hot hot Bakersfield sun, then got ready to bring them in a few hours later. I got them down, smelled them and just about gagged. I took them in the house, stuck a piece of a sheet in Nick's face and asked him if it smelled funny to him. "Just dirt and sun," he said. Then it dawned on me. Lesson #374 on Living in Bakersfield: Sheets dried outside in the desert of California are not going to smell the same as sheets dried outside in the hills of Pennsylvania.

Well, I'm kinda back. I'm still using Nick's laptop, which can be a pain. But it's better than nothing, right? We didn't expect to be away from our blogs this long, but some wacky stuff happened during the last month or so. We're hoping all the wackiness has passed now. Unfortunately, the heat has crept in and made it very hard to get motivated to do anything. Triple digit temperatures just aren't right. Thank God for a brand new air conditioner though.

Guess what we haven't done inside the new house? Smoked. We're down from 1-2 packs a day to about 5 cigarettes a day -- all smoked outside. Yeah, we rock. Actually, after seeing the gross nicotine stains and feeling the stickiness and just the overall grossness (if it wasn't a word before, it is now) of the apartment because of all the smoking we did there, we vowed to never, ever, under any circumstances, smoke inside the new house. It makes cutting down much easier. Except that I REALLY NEED TO SMOKE RIGHT NOW!!! It's been about 3 hours and I have about 5 to go before I light up again. I'll make it. I might drive Nick crazy, but I'll make it. Or, I could save Nick and just take a nap. That sounds like the best solution.

I'll probably be gone for a while because we're in the process of moving to the new house. Yay!

It's 2 a.m. after a very stressful day so this entry may not be totally coherent. But when I read the Monday Mission questions I felt compelled to post.

1. Do you have any tattoos? If no, why not and what would you get if you did get one. If you do have one or more, tell us how you came to get it, and why you chose the design you got inked with.
No. I thought about getting one when I went to Las Vegas a couple years ago, but I chickened out changed my mind. I thought about getting a daisy yellow rose sunflower crescent moon star, but couldn't really decide what design to permanently disfigure my body with go with.

2. Has anything ever happened that caused you to believe, or disbelieve, in a Higher Power.
There have been too many things to mention that make me believe in a higher power.

3. Have you ever seriously considered, or even attempted, suicide?
Nope.

4. Has anyone you have known committed suicide?
Yes. My Uncle Jim, my very dear friend Mike and the husband of a friend/co-worker.

5. This weekend you and I are going to the nature park for a picnic. I'll bring the blanket and make all the arrangements. You pack the picnic basket. What's inside?
I'll let you know this weekend. I never know what I'm hungry for from one day to the next. There's no way I could plan for the weekend on a Monday.

6. Have you ever been mad at God for something that happened (or didn't happen)?
Yes, but I've learned that everything happens for a reason and only God knows what the reason is.

7. Post (or describe) an image of someone that is no longer with us. Tell us about that person.
Anyone who's read my blog for a while knows something about my dad -- good and bad -- so I'm not going to write anything else about him. But I will post a picture of him and my mom on their wedding day -- July 25, 1959.




BONUS: Who are you?
Come on tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, tell me who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Come on, come on, who? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Ah, who the fuck are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Ah tell me who are you? (Who are you? Who........)
I really wanna know (Who........)
Oh I really wanna know (Who........)
Come on tell me, who are you? (Who........)
You
You
Are you?

About a month ago I posted a few times about how great my dad was. Then a few days ago I posted that my dad was an alcoholic. I know some people probably don't understand how an alcoholic could possibly be a great dad, especially after hearing and reading so many horror stories from people who blame all their problems on being the child of an alcoholic. Granted, there were some pretty bad times because of my dad's drinking. But I choose not to dwell on those, just as I chose not to dwell on it when I was growing up. Yes, my dad was an alcoholic, but that didn't mean I couldn't do my best in school and still follow my dreams, which I did. I'm sure school, especially high school, would have been a lot better if I could have invited friends to my house without being afraid of what might be going on there. But that didn't stop me from going out with friends and getting involved in school activities. I suppose in a lot of ways I'm luckier than most children of alcoholics. My dad told me he loved me often. He managed to hold down a very good job. A lot of the money went to booze, but my brother and sister and I still got everything we wanted, we went on several family vacations and we lived in a nice big house. My mother didn't have to work unless she wanted to, which she rarely did. As I look back, I realize that the financial situation was probably worse than I remembered, but I believe that's because my mother did the best she could under the circumstances and never let on that money was tight. So, I could choose to remember the day my dad called me a bitch because I said I wasn't going to set foot in the house again until he stopped drinking. Or, I could choose to remember the Saturday nights he made homemade pizza for us or the Sunday nights he made popcorn and we'd all sit around watching The Wonderful World of Disney on television. I could choose to remember watching him stagger up the hill after work and a few hours at the bar. Or, I could choose to remember our trips to Gettysburg and Washington, D.C., where he instilled in me my love of history. Obviously, I remember both the good and the bad. But I choose to keep the good in the forefront and bring up the bad only when it's necessary.

I always forget how much I like The Philadelphia Story until I see it. It was on the local PBS station last night and I couldn't resist watching. The only thing I don't like about the movie is at the end I want her to end up with both guys.

The Thursday Threesome

Onesome. The Good. Read a good book lately? Recommend a recent read - as well as your favorite book of all time. The last book I finished was "The Talbot Odyssey." It was a real page-turner and very thought-provoking. My favorite book of all time is "Gone With the Wind." I like to read it again every few years.

Twosome. The Bad. Was it so bad that you couldn't watch anymore? Tell us about a bad movie - did you leave or suffer through it? The worst movie I ever saw in a theater was that Harrison Ford/Anne Heche fiasco. Six Days and Seven Nights or Seven Days and Six Nights or some such thing. I hated it so much I'm not even going to waste my time looking up the correct name. I remember looking at my watch to get an idea if it might be over soon and being stunned to learn I'd been watching it for only a little less than 30 minutes. I didn't leave though. I kept thinking to myself "Harrison Ford's in it. It's got to get better soon." It never did.

Threesome. And The Ugly. And then things turned ugly.... Oh, have a day (or date) seem to go so horribly wrong it can only be described as "ugly"? Tell us all about it. I've been sitting here thinking about this one for quite a little while. There have been events that have been ugly, but never really entire days. It wasn't too long ago that I wrote about the date from hell/boyfriend from hell or something like that, so I don't want to do that again. But August 20, 1999, comes to mind. Around noon that day, rain started pouring down really hard. But there was no wind. The clouds weren't moving. They stayed over the area and the rain just kept falling and falling and falling. Around 1 p.m. my now-ex-husband came home from running some errands, told me East Main Street was flooded more than usual and part of it was blocked off so he couldn't get to the bank to deposit his check. But he said it looked really cool and asked if I wanted to go take a look. I did. We figured we'd also take an alternate route to the bank. By the time we got there (5 minutes later) the street was like a raging river and more water was flowing hard and heavy off the hills/side streets. We went home. Fast. Our basement had already started flooding. The ex started freaking out. I started freaking out because I wanted to go to work. It was my day off, but I knew I should be there because in a natural disaster there are always more stories to write, more people to talk to, more things that have to be done. But the ex was freaking so badly that I didn't dare leave. The ex and a neighbor started using buckets to get the water out of the basement, but it was coming in too fast for them to keep up and it was inching toward the fuse box. There had been reports on the radio saying that if you needed your electricity turned off, call the fire department. I did. Several times. They finally showed up about the time the rain stopped. But after the rain stopped, I would have thought the ex would calm down a bit. But no. That's not how his paranoid schizophrenic mind works. During the couple weeks leading up to the flood, he'd been digging in the backyard, which is adjacent to a wooded hill that is part of a national forest. For more than an hour he insisted that he was going to get arrested for (and this is an actual charge in Pennsylvania. I don't know if it is in other places.) risking a catastrophe. In his mind, he thought it was his digging that caused the entire city and surrounding areas to flood. Somehow I got him calmed down enough to call his foster mother who is a minister. She prayed with him and that seemed to help for a while. Until we decided to go get some food before cleaning up what we could and assessing the damage. Since we didn't get to the bank, we didn't have any cash on hand, or food, and now all branches of our bank were inaccessible, so we couldn't use an ATM. So we decided to go the grocery store where we had a check cashing card and get something from the deli. As we drive down that street, we see all kinds of bags, boxes and cans of food all along the side of the road. We get to the grocery store parking lot and see yellow caution tape. The roof of the building caved in from the weight of the water. So, the ex starts freaking again thinking the grocery store owners are going to sue him because he started the flood. Somehow I calmed him down yet again and managed to get him to help me dig through the car for any loose change we could find. We found enough to buy sandwiches, chips and soda at the closest convenience store. (All the fast food places were closed.) So, we get home. Eat. Talk. Listen to the radio. Find out just how much the initial damage estimates are. I try reasoning with him to make him realize he didn't cause the flood. It actually worked that time. But just about the time we were going to try to get some sleep and put off everything else til morning, it started raining again. But even though it was just light sprinkles, he started freaking again. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I fell asleep on the couch. He stayed up all night watching the rain.

Christy's HumpDayHump

1) Would you say you had a good childhood or a bad childhood? What made it so either way? All things considered, I think I had a good childhood. We spent a lot of family time together. We went on several cool family vacations. My parents bought me just about everything I asked for (not everything I wanted; just what I asked for. I knew they had limits.) My dad was an alcoholic, so my mom did whatever she could to be a great mom to, I think, looking back, balance it all out. I also have an aunt who took me to Europe and who I used to spend a couple weeks with every summer in the Philly suburbs. Before high school, when most kids are friends with only the kids in their own neighborhoods, we all had a great time together. We were all friends with each other and looked out for each other.

2) Were you the athlete, the brain, the princess, the criminal, or the basket case? (stereotypes direct from the end of the Breakfast Club) Hmmm? I'd say I was a combination of the brain and the basket case with, weirdly enough, a little bit of the princess thrown in.

3) Did you attend a private school or a public school? If private, were there uniforms involved? Private Catholic school. We didn't have to wear uniforms, per se, but the girls had to wear dresses or skirts (no more than an inch above the knee, thank you very much) and the boys had to wear ties and couldn't wear jeans.

4) Favorite teacher in elementary and secondary schools? Why were they your favorites? In elementary school I liked all my teachers except Mrs. Grady (1st grade) and Miss Finno (5th grade). Oh yeah, and Mrs. Knupp (3rd grade). But I guess Mrs. Caruso (4th grade) was my favorite because she was a history and science buff. We got to do all kinds of science experiments. Each day started off with current events. I liked that a lot. And she didn't talk down to us. Mrs. Brown (6th grade) was cool because she took her role of getting us ready for junior high very seriously. But still, she let us be kids. She also read to us if we got our work done early enough. She introduced me to "Harriet the Spy." In high school, I'd have to say Sister Christine. She was my communications media teacher (and English for one year) and the advisor for the school paper. She encouraged me to follow my dreams.

Thanks Christy!

what kitchen utensil are YOU?

I've lived in California for 11+ months and haven't felt an earthquake. But what happens in the northeast today? An earthquake. And yes, people where I used to live in Pennsylvania felt it. Weird, isn't it?

The Friday Five

1. What's your favorite TV show and why? "Six Feet Under" because it's so different from anything else that's on. The characters are so quirky and interesting. Also, just when you think you have something figured out concerning something in a character's life, the story takes a different turn or they do something completely opposite of what you thought was going to happen. This is a bit sick and wrong, but I also like seeing how the person at the beginning of the show is going to die.

2. Who is your favorite television star? I don't know if I have a favorite television star. There's really no one that I have to see every week. But if I have to choose, I guess I'll say Steven Van Zandt.

3. What was your favorite TV show as a child? It was a tie between "The Brady Bunch" and "The Partridge Family." I also really liked "Starsky and Hutch."

4. What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? "Law and Order." Hasn't it been on since the late '60s or something? It sure seems like it. Seriously, during the first few seasons I loved it. For a while it was my favorite show. But now it's like it's the same thing over and over.

5. What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? "George Lopez." Does that count even though it just started a few weeks ago? The episode with Sandra Bullock had me laughing so hard! Even the shows without her were funny though. I hope ABC gives it a chance and keeps it around.

I had a bad anxiety attack last night, shortly after I laid down to sleep so I'm feeling a little slow and out of it today. It seems the anxiety attacks are coming closer together and are getting worse. I used to have them every couple of months or so, and it was usually related to PMS. Now, I'm not sure what's causing them. But last night was bad. Besides feeling as if I wanted to jump out of my skin, I had itches in places I just couldn't scratch effectively, like in and around my eyes and ears and in between my fingers and toes. It felt as if spiders were crawling all over me. Also, when the fan blew on my face I felt as if it was sucking my breath away. But I couldn't keep the fan off because I'd get too hot. I kept tossing and turning, trying to get into a comfortable position. I wanted to get online and blog about it, but I didn't think I could sit still long enough to write. I don't think I could have put together a coherent sentence at that point anyway. I don't know what time I finally fell asleep, but I remember birds singing.

Saturday Scruples

1. a close friend will be interviewed for a job with your employer. he asks you for a list of the questions in advance. do you supply it? No. I would tell him what the job entails, what's expected of him, etc. to help him prepare for the interview. But giving him a list of questions in advance would be cheating.

2. you work for an optical store. jimmy has broken his glasses and his parents are agonizing over the price of replacements. a competitor is selling identical glasses for half-price. do you send jimmy's parents there? It would depend on how I felt about Jimmy's parents. If I had a good feeling about them. First I'd talk to my boss and tell him about the competitor's prices, hoping he'd lower our price. If that didn't work, I'd suggest Jimmy's parents shop around for a better price but I wouldn't actually send them to the competitor.

3. you are a reporter. the family of a murder victim has refused your requests for picture and interview. your editor demands that you keep calling them. do you? This, folks, is one of the myriad reasons I'm no longer working for a newspaper. Sometimes editors forget sources for stories are people -- with emotions. The last thing these people need is for some reporter digging around in their personal lives. It doesn't matter if it's the family of a murder victim or a small business owner whose store is closing or someone who was harassed by a rogue cop. If they don't want to talk, they don't want to talk. Reporters who push too hard and are willing to do anything to get a story are the people who give reporters a bad name. I wouldn't want someone hounding me like that. What makes other reporters think the people they're trying to interview are any different? Anyway, to answer the question: What I would do is call them one last time, make sure they have my name, phone number and e-mail address and tell them I'm ready to listen when they're ready to talk. A lot of editors wouldn't be happy with that (in my experience, anyway), so I would try to talk to the victim's friends, people he worked with, etc. Usually you can find someone who will talk. If the editor still wasn't happy, I'd quit.

The Friday Five

1. What is your favorite restaurant and why? This changes a lot, but lately it's been the 24/7 Truckstop that's close to our new house. The food is awesome! We went to their breakfast buffet last week and left absolutely stuffed. The biscuits and gravy were so yummy. The first time we went, Shell and I got the dinner buffet and it was pretty yummy, too. As anyone knows, you find the best food at truckstops. And ... you don't have to get dressed up.

2. What fast food restaurant are you partial to? It's a tie between Subway and Arby's. Subway always tastes so good. But sometimes ya just gotta have Arby's curly fries.

3. What are your standards and rules for tipping? I haven't left a tip since I've been here (Nick takes care of that) but I used to be a really good tipper. If the service was just okay, meaning the server did his/her job but didn't do anything extra I'd leave about 24%. (Why 24? As far as I know, a standard tip is 20% of the bill. Pennsylvania sales tax is 6% so I'd just multiply the tax by 4.) If the server went out of his/her way in any way, was pleasant, attentive but not annoying or any number of intangible things, I'd leave more than the 24 %, depending on the service. (I once left a 50% tip. I've never had a better waitress. I think she was the queen of waitresses.) If the service sucks, however, I'd just leave a dollar. But I always leave a tip, no matter how bad the service is. I learned while working in restaurants that if a customer doesn't leave a tip, the server may just think they forgot. But if you leave a buck for a $30 meal, they might start thinking about how much they sucked. Of course the server could just think you're a cheap bastard, but so what? He/she is a lousy server.

4. Do you usually order an appetizer and/or dessert? Not usually, but we tend to order dessert more than we order appetizers. But there's one restaurant, Mexicali, where we order guacamole for an appetizer. It's so good! (Well, it was both times I was there anyway.)

5. What do you usually order to drink at a restaurant? Usually Diet Coke/Pepsi or Sprite/Sierra Mist. Sometimes coffee or iced tea. We've been talking about going to Mexicali and ordering margaritas though. mmmmmm

Thanks Heather!

Nick's on the phone with his father. I don't know what they're talking about, but Nick just told me that his dad said some of the people at Wal-mart are so stupid they probably couldn't tell you where their feet are. .... We cracked up!

My first Tuesday Too, which I did mainly because of the first question.

1.) What's your opinion on age ranges and intimate relationships? Does it matter? Is it okay for the man to be older, but not the woman? How much older is too old?
I don't think age matters. If two people are in love, they're in love. Nick is 13 years younger than I am so, naturally, I think it's perfectly fine for the woman to be older than the man. It's funny, though. Before I told Nick how old I was (remember, we met on the 'net) I was really freaked out about him thinking I was too old. I knew he was 27 and I thought that would be too much of a difference. But when we got into the conversation that lead to me telling him my age, his guess was pretty close. He said 37 or 38. I had just turned 40. So, here I was all nervous and stuff, and it really made no difference to him at all.

2.) Should stem cell researchers be given the green light?
I go back and forth a lot on this. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I can see the advantages.

3.)Googleclimbing, (similar to a googlewhacking) but now your job is to make your site come up as the first result, or at least on the first page of google's results. Ideally you want your site to be #1 of thousands, tens of thousands or if you really want to impress us #1 of millions of results! You may use up to four words, but they may not be in quotation marks.
california blog = #3 of 2260

nine things you wear daily:
~glasses
~shirt
~shorts or pants
~underwear
~wedding ring
~engagement ring
~deodorant
~nail polish
~on Nick's nerves *s*

eight movies you'd watch over and over:
~The Sound of Music
~Apollo 13
~You've Got Mail
~When Harry Met Sally
~Hope Floats (or just about anything with Sandra Bullock in it)
~Armageddon
~The Wizard of Oz
~Some Like it Hot

seven albums that matter:

The Stranger -- Billy Joel
Born to Run -- Springsteen
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road -- Elton John
Rumors -- Fleetwood Mac
Tuesday Night Music Club -- Sheryl Crow
Timepieces -- Eric Clapton
No Nukes -- various artists
(yes, I know this list dates me -- bad!)

six objects you touch everyday:

~computer and its various components
~coffee cup
~lighter
~water bottle
~toilet paper
~refrigerator

five things you do everyday
~kiss Nick
~tell Nick I love him
~hug Nick
~smoke
~drink coffee

four bands/singers that you couldn't live without:
~Eric Clapton
~Bruce Springsteen
~Elton John
~John Lennon

three of your favorite songs at this moment:
~Drops Of Jupiter -- Train
~My Sacrifice -- Creed
~Wherever You Will Go -- The Calling


two people that have influenced your life the most:
~Nick
~my mother

one thing you could spend the rest of your life with:
~Nick's love

(via -- everyone)

Big hugs, kisses and thanks to Nick for fixing my archives!

The Monday Mission

1. When was the last time your computer crashed? What happened? 2 summers ago. This is going to sound lame, but I wasn't paying enough attention to the tech guy to remember what happened. I just wanted my computer back.

2. Recommend a movie (new or old) for us to watch. "Training Day" is awesome if you don't mind a lot of violence and bad language. If you're more of a wholesome type, try "The Sound of Music." That's my favorite movie.

3. When was the last time someone told you that you were attractive (and you actually believed them)? I don't remember exactly when it was because Nick tells me pretty often. Sometimes I believe him.

4. Do you like to sleep in or wake up with the chickens? Sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep is on the list of my top five favorite things to do.

5. Are you gay, straight or bi? Ever been tempted to go the other way? I almost didn't do the Monday Mission this week because of this question. I'm a little bit afraid of the reaction I'll get from some of the people who may happen to wander across this blog. But, hey, it's who I am, right? I'm bi. I didn't even realize it until fairly recently. It never occured to me until then that most of the females I was in contact with didn't feel the same way I do about Sandra Bullock movies. *w* In fact, I remember a workplace conversation in which one woman said there's no such thing as bisexuality. Bisexuals are just people who can't decide if they're gay or straight. Grrrrrr. I didn't even buy that before I realized I'm bi. What I believe is that people whoo are bi have a huge capacity for love. If you love someone, you love them. It doesn't matter what body they're in. I think I needed to grow up a little and start equating sex with love before I could form that belief. When I was younger, sex was sex. Now, I can't see having sex with someone I don't love.

6. What will be the next computer-related purchase you will make? I'm not sure. We'll have to wait til we get everything set up in the new house before we decide, I think.

What is your role when you are in relationships? A giver, a taker, or is it an equal balance? I think I'm mostly the taker but I'm trying to be better and make it more of an equal balance.

BONUS: Would I lie to you? Now would I say something that wasn't true? I'm asking you sugar, would I lie to you?



participation positives ... a way to start monday

*Nick
*a family who loves me
*my sister actually sent me pictures of her kids. It's almost a miracle!
*I'm still hanging in there on the cutting down on smoking thing
*I'm getting a lot done to get ready for the move
*The house is awesome -- and it's almost done!
*The weather has been more bearable. (I'm not ready for another Bakersfield summer yet.)
*I smelled real, live orange blossoms for the first time on Saturday.
*Nick and I had an awesome night on Friday
*Over the weekend we went to a breakfast buffet that's great
*I've been spending more time with Shell lateley
*We rented three good movies over the weekend (Training Day, Riding in Cars with Boys and K-PAX)
*We splurged and got donuts Saturday
*I got to sleep 'til I woke up today -- no alarm clock
*We remembered to set our clocks ahead
*participation positives still make me smile
*Nick

Thanks Jess!

Before I moved here, I very often used to dream about being in restrooms. They were always big restrooms, with dozens of stalls. Very often I'd lose my way or not know exactly where I was. Other times, there would be other people there and I felt weird about using the restroom with other people around because either there were no doors on the stalls or the doors were only about waist high and I thought people would be staring me. I'd always meant to look up the meaning of those dreams, but I never got around to it. But I had a restroom dream just the other night and promised myself I would look it up this time. Who knew these are actually common dreams? So, here's what I found at Dream Moods:

To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to relieve yourself. Alternatively, it may symbolize purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.

Using the toilet represents letting out your emotions, fears, and worries. And the notion that you are exposed from the waist up highlights your need to get something off your chest. You need to let your feelings show! You go to the bathroom in a stall where there is little space. To some degree, you are trying to keep your feelings and emotions to yourself. What you need to do is share them with others, as the waist-high door demonstrates. Get over your fear that you might be judged or criticized.

The part about being lost suggests that I'm lost or confused in my own sea of emotions.


All I could say was "wow" when I read these. It all makes sense because of the situation(s) I was in before Nick saved me.

In lieu of actual content, here's something I borrowed from mikey, who borrowed it from Candi, who borrowed it from Suzy.

Guys who I think are cute (in no particular order, and excluding Nick because that's a given):

*Matthew McConaughey
*John Travolta
*Tom Cruise (oh, just be quiet)
*Ashton Kutcher
*Seann William Scott
*Denzel Washington
*Ben Affleck
*Keanu Reeves
*Rob Lowe
*Emilio Estevez

Find out which Moulin Rouge song you are.

Thursday Threesome

Onesome. Love. Ever felt that "unconditional love"? Tell us about it....
Yes. Nick loves me no matter what. Some days I'm a real bitch not that easy to love but he doesn't get discouraged. He's always there for me. I can't even describe the feeling. It's just so awesome. This may seem like kind of a weird transistion, but I can't ever think of the phrase "unconditional love" without thinking about my dog, Beebe. When she died two years ago I had her buried in my back yard. I was crying and my heart was breaking because I had to say good-bye to my little girl who I'd had for 13 years. But just before it was time to say good-bye for the last time, the man who buried her said "I believe God put dogs on Earth to teach us the meaning of unconditional love." In the case of me and Beebe, I don't think that could be more true.

Twosome. Labors. What was your first paying job (not counting baby-sitting)?
I worked as a peon kitchen aide in a nursing home. The building was an old mansion that had marble floors and tiles, solid brass fixtures, crystal chandeliers, a ballroom. It was massive and gorgeous! The residents of the home were treated more like guests than patients. They'd eat their meals in the huge dining room and they were served on real plates, etc., not hospital-type stuff. One of my jobs when I first started was to pour the guests' coffee and tea after dinner. I really got to know and grow very fond of some of them. One woman was the sister-in-law of Sorrell Booke, the man who played Boss Hogg on "The Dukes of Hazzard." He came to visit her quite often and was a very nice man.

Threesome. Lost. Have a knack for losing things? Is there something you lose "all the time"?
I used to lose my car keys all the time. Most of the time I'd find them in my purse but I had so much junk in it I couldn't find them in there. I used to lose pens and pencils a lot, too, but only at work. Actually, I think the low-life idiots who came in after I left stole them because they're too cheap to buy their own people borrowed them and forgot to return them. Now, I think the only thing I lose is socks.

Christy's Chaos - HumpDay Hump

1) What has been the best day/experience of your life thus far? Don't cop out and put "my wedding day" or "the day my kids were born" unless you truly mean it! Can I name an entire week? It was March 25-31, 2001 -- the day I met Nick for the first time in person and the week we spent together. Actually, I didn't leave until April 1. There were some wonderful things that happened that day, too, but the end was so terribly sad that I'm not going to include it. I'd really like to give details about best sex of my life but it might be a little too pornographic for younger viewers. *s*

2) Do you like your name? Have you ever considered changing it? Is there a story behind your name (ie. did it come from a relative, a beloved storyline, etc.)? I hate my name, but I never considered changing it. There's interesting story about my middle name (Louise, which I hate even more than Anne). My grandmother secretly prayed that my mom would name me Louise because there was a statue of Saint Louise in the middle of the town where she grew up in Italy. My grandmother thought Saint Louise was so beautiful and she wanted one of her granddaughters to have that name. But she never told my mother that because she didn't want my mother to feel pressured. My mom was stuck on the name Anne (There's a story behind that but I can't remember it right now.) but couldn't come up with a good, unique middle name. She still didn't have one the first time my grandmother saw me. But I guess as soon as my grandmother held me for the first time the name Louise popped into my mom's head. I've since learned that Saint Louise was named the patron saint of social workers in the year I was born; she helped establish the St. Vincent DePaul Society; and founded the Sisters of Charity order of nuns. Her feast day is March 15, which happens to be the birthday of a very dear and special friend of mine.

3) If you had to choose to be an animal right at this very moment, which one would you choose? Why did you pick that one? Whichever animal would be best and fastest at getting boxes packed and laundry done.

I haven't posted for a few days because I've been really busy getting ready for the big move. There's lots of packing, laundry and other stuff to do. But we're getting there. It's been a little bit more difficult the last couple of days because it's been so hot here. H-O-T -- like almost into the 90s. This will be my second summer in Bakersfield and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it yet. Well, I guess I'm more prepared than I was last year. Just a tip: It's not good to be dehydrated when you move into the desert. I wasn't a very good water drinker before I moved here. One of the reasons is -- and this is kind of stupid now that I look back on it -- with the job I had it wasn't always convenient to use the restroom -- if there was even a restroom available to me. So, I really didn't drink as much as I should have during work hours or the couple of hours before work. After work, I didn't drink that much because I didn't want to be up all night running to the bathroom. Which leads me to how I got really dehydrated before I stepped off the bus into the 104 degree heat of Bakersfield last June. I took a train from Pennsylvania (actually, I got on the train in Buffalo, NY) to Los Angeles, then took a bus from LA to Bakersfield. The trip took four days. I get motion sickness really bad and I was afraid to move around on the train too much because I didn't want to end up puking my guts out. So, during the entire trip I drank 3 small bottles of water and 3 sodas -- in four days! How stupid was that?!? So, naturally, I was dehydrated. When the temperature is in the 100s, it's very difficult to recover from dehydration. But now I'm a good water drinker so I'm better prepared for the heat. I hope!

Wake up! I'm finished with that post. *s*

Web Test Taker Analysis
	Anne is a kooky menace with too much free time You use web tests to annoy people on regular basis. Medication might help.
Take the test yourself, or not.

via Christine

The Sunday Op-Ed

1) The Easter Bunny

The bunny who used to leave bunny foot prints on the floor of my Uncle George's house, but never at ours. But that's okay. Santa used to leave us notes on the blackboard in the kitchen but didn't leave notes for Uncle George's kids.

2) Cadbury

What I used to think of every time I read the name "Carbury" in the book I just finished reading.

3) Parades

Something I like to watch, but not participate in. I remember as a little kid wondering every Easter why we didn't have an Easter parade. I used to think I'd like to be in that parade with my Easter bonnet.

Thanks Chris!

I have another story about Chico Ringo. When I was 6 years-old my best friend Lisa moved in next door. She and her family had lived about half a block away, but it was across a fairly busy street which meant we couldn't just go play together any time we wanted. So when the family moved next door to us it was a big deal. Lisa has a sister who's my sister's age and a brother a year younger than my brother, so we were all pretty happy. Even though Lisa's parents are about 20 years younger than my parents, they got to be friends as well. In fact, Lisa's mom and my mom are still very close although Lisa's mom moved several years ago. (not far; just a few blocks away) Anyway, Lisa's family adopted Buttons about the same time we adopted Chico Ringo. Buttons was *gasp* a dog! We thought for sure Buttons and Chico Ringo would fight like, well, cats and dogs. But it was just the opposite. They loved each other. Sometimes when Buttons was on her chain in the front yard Chico Ringo would go sit on the neighbor's front porch. They'd nap next to each other, watch the neighbor's and other animals go by and just generally hang out and do whatever it is cats and dogs do when they're not with their people. They were so cute together, just like cats and dogs who grow up in the same house. Buttons also lived to a ripe old age. Our family was just as sad as Buttons' family when she had to be put to sleep. But we all knew, at least (if you believe in that sort of thing), Chico Ringo and Buttons would be together again.

Again, there's no point to this post. It's just something I wanted to share.

Happy Easter!

I was in high school when my parents finally decided it was okay for us to have a pet. My brother had turtles. I had a salamander (Sammy). We all had goldfish. But they decided we were ready for a cat. Actually, it was my mom who gave the go-ahead. gave in to our pleading. My dad didn't want a cat in the house. No way. No how. So, around the time of my brother's 7th birthday (I think it was his 7th) we got Chico Ringo. (I was the only person in the house with a crush on Freddie Prinze). My dad looked at her, then disappeared for a while. When he came back, he had a little white ceramic bowl with him. That had been his cat's feeding dish when he was a little boy. We later learned that the reason my dad didn't want us to have a cat is that he was so devastated when his cat died. He didn't want us to go through that, and he didn't want to go through it again either. When Chico Ringo died 14 years later, we were all pretty upset. But my dad is the one who made a memorial marker out of a stone and placed it under the rose bush where Chico Ringo liked to sun herself in the backyard.

Do you ever see people on the street or in a parking lot or anyplace else and make up stories about them? Yesterday zack and I were waiting for our friend while he was in the convenience store buying gas, water, smokes, Mountain Dew, lottery ticket (all the essentials). We see this guy next to the Dumpster cleaning out his purple pickup truck. He had handful after handful of soda bottles, water bottles, papers, fast food bags. You name it. It was probably in there. So zack said he probably had a hot date ... his first ever. (You'd have to see the guy to realize zack was probably right about this guy never going on a date.) Then I said maybe he has to clean out the truck because he's taking his mother to church on Sunday. No sooner did I say that when zack saw the guy take two Bibles from the back and put them in the front seat.

I didn't promise an earth-shattering post. *s* I just wanted to share something I shared with zack because I haven't seen him in a long time and I really missed him.

Yesterday my friend and I were talking about our days working in convenience stores. We both liked working morning shifts best. Why? It's nice to know that you started someone's day off on the right track. And just think. If you started someone's day off right, that person may pass the good feelings on to other people, and so on and so on and so on ....

When I was a senior in college my 3 best friends and I spent Easter break in Bermuda. It was totally awesome! We stayed at a guest house. Our hosts were an older married couple, George and Ida Storms. They were wonderful. They even gave the okay for us to hang out at their private club on the beach. But there was one really strange thing that happened/we all learned. You know how in America (at least the places I know here) Good Friday is more or less a solemn occasion (or at least it used to be), a time for contemplation, reflection, prayer? Well, when we woke up on Good Friday morning, we found a loaf of freshly baked banana bread on our doorstep and a note that said "Happy Good Friday." We later learned that the annual kite show is held on Good Friday every year. Generally, Good Friday is a day of celebration in Bermuda. I guess it's all in your perspective on things.

via mikey

The Friday Five

1. If you could eat dinner with and "get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose? Jesus Christ. I didn't always feel that way. Just a few years ago I might have said Bruce Springsteen or Sandra Bullock. But now, I think I'd like to find out how Jesus feels about the world today, and if I'm living my life in a way that he thinks is okay.

2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel? I was really sad when JFK Jr. died. I can't quite place my finger on the reason why. Part of it is that I'd had a crush on him since I was 16. Also, I think he had a lot of potential and was just beginning to live up to it. I was also very sad when Princess Diana died. I think she really was a good person with a good heart and wanted to help people.

3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose? Sandra Day O'Connor

4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who? Quite a few, actually. Mostly though (this is when I was thin) it's been Drew Barrymore or (now) Rosie O'Donnell.

5. Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes. Hillary Clinton, Ben Vereen, Leslie Uggams, Maureen McGovern, Crystal Gayle, Marilyn Horne, Doc Severinsen, the Oakridge Boys, football Hall of Famers Jim Kelly and Joe Theisman, Pro-Bowl football player Henry Jones, football players Jack Lambert, Jack Webster and Rocky Bleir and the guy who invented Zippo lighters (he was my neighbor). I also talked to Tom Ridge on the phone.

HumpDayHump via Pegasong

1) If you could choose any job/career you wanted (experience and education not an issue), what would you choose? Believe it or not, that's a tough one for me. I had my dream job for nearly six years, but the last year or so was such a nightmare that I'm not sure I even want to step into a newsroom again, let alone work in one. But if I have to pick something, I guess I'd like to be a novelist.

2) Do you have a hobby? What is it? Yes. Goofing off the computer and Internet. I have others, but that's the main one.

3) Would you ever consider making money at it? You bet! I'm making a little right now (very little), but I'm hoping that I can make enough to actually make a difference soon.

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swiped from Nick

This is my favorite story about me and my dad.

Dad, my sister and I were walking home from the park one day when we ran into a friend of my dad's. During their conversation, this friend was raving about what a sweet child I was. I was 4 or 5 at the time. The friend said to my Dad, "How much do you want for her." My Dad answered, "This one's priceless." When we went inside the house, I ran to my room and started crying. My Mom came in and asked me what was wrong. Sobbing, I said "Daddy wants to give me away." Confused, my Mom asked what I meant by that. Still sobbing, I said "Mr. Douglas wanted to buy me but Daddy said he would give me away for free." My Mom left the room. Shortly after that, my Dad came in, gave me a big hug and explained "priceless" to me. "It doesn't mean that you don't have a price like something that's free," he said. "It means that there's not a price in the world that's high enough for you."

Today's kind of a strange day. It's the anniversary of the day Nick asked me to marry him. What a magical night that was! I still remember it as if it was only yesterday instead of a year ago. It couldn't have been more perfect. The strange thing is, even Nick didn't know how perfect it was at the time. What Nick didn't know then is that March 26 is my dad's birthday. Every once in a while since he died more than 10 years ago I felt his presence. Or at least I wanted to believe I did. But in the last year I felt it even more. When I was getting ready to move here, I kind of had the feeling Dad was watching over me. But after I got here, it was even stronger than that. We've even smelled his after shave lotion. I don't know why Dad would be hanging around here instead of back in Pennsylvania with my mom, but I'm glad he is. I think he's happy than I'm finally happy.

Happy birthday Dad!

...and, my Monday Mission

1. What helps you get started every morning? Coffee and a smoke

2. What is the most memorable thing anyone has ever made for you? Drawings that my little friends April, Rodney, Robbie, Stephy and Rebecca did for me

3. What music are you currently listening to in your car? A new radio station that's been "rockin' Bakersfield for over 10 days." I laughed so hard when I heard that for the first time.

4. One thing I like to do is buy USA Today on Wed, Thur and Fri. Even if I don't have the money, I will find a way to buy them, because I just love reading them. What is one "splurge" you allow yourself, even when you shouldn't? Here's where my geekiness really comes out. I love office supplies -- notebooks, pens, Post-it notes, notebooks, folders, notebooks.

5. Have you ever been given a "second chance?" What happened and did you make the most of it? I'm living my second chance right now. Everything in my old life was a dead end. I have a brand new lease on life now.

6. Do you have a lot of friends outside of your own ethnic background? Not a lot, but some, including one very dear friend.

7. What was the last situation that really, really pissed you off? I can't think of any right now, but I do get pissed off a lot so I know there's something. Lately, though, I've been trying to let those things go and concentrate only on positive things in my life.

BONUS: Who's your friend when things get rough? H.R. Pufnstuf ... and Nick

If it's Monday, it's time for participation positives:

*Nick
*Nick sent me the cutest card to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the day we met in person
*I'm here instead of in an airplane flying cross country like I was at this time last year
*I'm still doing pretty well on cutting back on smoking
*Ron Howard, Halle Berry and Denzel Washington won
*I have a family who loves me
*The sun's out
*I'm in such a good mood that I'm sitting here smiling
*I was fairly productive over the weekend
*participation positives makes me think of all these good things in my life
*the best husband in the world

Thanks Jess!

Eight From the Eighties...

1) You might as well face it, you're addicted to...
...the Internet, blogging and Nick

2) All I really need to do is find myself a brand new...
...diet, preferrably one that allows me to eat cheese, chocolate and Cheetos without gaining an ounce. If that's not possible, I could use a new 'puter.

3) Who's the wind beneath your wings?
Nick and my mom.

4) Who gives love a bad name?
I could make a list, but I have to start dinner in about 2 1/2 hours so I'm not even going to start. It wouldn't be fair to leave one of the losers out because of time constraints, would it?

5) Are you too shy?
Online - No. Out in the real world? You bet! I was even voted shyest girl in my high school class.

6) Do you work hard for the money?
No. But I used to work way too hard, so I guess it evens out. I expect to be working harder very soon, I hope.

7) There's something strange in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters. Seriously. We have ghosts here. They're nice though. The other strange stuff in the neighborhood could probably be handled by the police, but since we're moving I'm hoping it just stays relatively calm 'til we're outta here.

8)Why do I find it hard to write the next line?
Writer's block. Either that or I'm afraid to totally open up. I'm getting better at that, but I still have some issues.

The Sunday Op-Ed

Here's the deal:
There are three answers to questions not yet asked. Take each answer and see if you can come up with an unusual question.

1)Chocolate
What is both the best thing, that's also the worst thing, that helps me keep from smoking as much?

2)The beach
What is the place I don't get to nearly as often as I'd like, but really relaxes me and makes feel good?

3)My First Celebrity Crush
Who was Jack Wild, who played "Jimmy" on H.R. Pufnstuf. He's the first I can remember anyway. Well, him and Jan Brady, but I don't know if she actually counts as a crush. But she is my favorite Brady.

Know what I was doing one year ago today (as someone reminded me)? I was freaking out big time! Why? Because one year ago tomorrow is the day that certain someone and I met for the first time in person. Wow! In some ways it seems like there's no way a year could have passed already. In other ways, it seems as if it's forever since I've been here.

Finally! It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. (If only the archives would work.)

mmmm mmmmm mmmmm Cherry Garcia

grrrrrrrrrrr! I spent all morning doing a new layout for this thing and now Blogger won't let me publish it! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (again)

I usually don't write about this stuff, but if I can't write here, what's the point of having a blog? I have lots of, umm, issues. Some I deal with pretty well, I guess. Others are a bit tougher. I'm getting better at talking about them -- thanks to Nick -- and that seems to help. He's actually helped me to figure out what some of my problems are. For example, it seemed that every time we had days off and had plans to do something outside the house, I'd get sick. I'm talking violent vomiting, migraines, feeling feverish. It was awful. A few weeks ago, Nick figured out that I have agoraphobia (sp?). It's not as bad as some people have it, but I've still got it. Since we identified the problem, it's gotten a little better. I seem to have more anxiety attacks, though, and I'm sure it's related somehow. I feel like a freak sometimes because of it. I know it's real, but it's still freaky to me. Take last night for example. We were going to my in-laws for dinner and they were going to teach us a new game (Sequence. It's really fun.) and I really wanted to go. I love my in-laws. I really, really do. They're great people and they totally accepted me into the family. I can't say enough good things about them. But as it got closer to the time we were supposed to go, I got anxious, nervous, I felt as if I had heart palpitations but I didn't. It was bad. I kept coming up with excuses (in my head) why I couldn't go. But I forced myself to do it. But the ride over there was awful for me. In my head, I kept saying. "We're not really going are we?" "We're just taking a little drive, then we're going back home." "This isn't happening. I'm dreaming it. We're going home soon." Then when we got to the intersection right before their house I kept saying to myself "Please don't turn onto Auburn. Please don't turn .... Please don't turn ...." over and over and over. But we did turn and then I got this tightness in my chest and I got all dizzy. I had that feeling until we turned into the driveway and I saw my father-in-law. After that, I was fine. *sigh* I thought writing about this would make me feel better, but it actually makes me feel like more of a freak. I'm going to publish it anyway, though, so I can (hopefully) look back on it someday and see how much progress I've made.

What Snack Food are YOU? Click here to find out!

*sigh* I really wanted to be Cheetos. However, I was just informed by someone who will remain nameless that Cheetos are not a snack food. They're junk food. I beg to differ. Cheetos have real cheese in them. So, not only are they a snack, they are a member of one of the basic food groups.

Someone loves us. How cute!



Thank you Secret Bunny, whoever you are. *s*

Here's my Monday Mission

1. As a child, did you ever wish you had a different name, maybe a name you wish your parents had chosen? To what would change it if you could? I had two. One was Wendy; the other was Amy. When I told my mom I wished my named was Amy, she said she chose names that would "grow with us." Now I guess I see what she meant. Imagine years from now when grandmothers are going to be named Britney, Tiffany and Heather. Anyway, I don't think I'd change my name even if I could.

2. What skill have you been wanting to learn but have just kept putting off? A lot of things that have to do with computers, php for example.

3. Are there there any regional foods you love but just can't get where you are living now? (burger chain, ice cream shop, etc. that was in your hometown but has no locations where you are today) Yes! Bison French Onion Chip Dip! It's sold only in Western New York and parts of Northwestern Pennsylvania. Also, beef on weck. There are things that are close here, but not close enough.

4. What recreational activity would you take up if you had the time and/or money? I really can't think of any.

5. What's the biggest lie you've ever told? Has anybody ever found out? Without getting into the details of why this conversation started, I told my mother I was a virgin when I wasn't. I think she knew the truth all along. Since then, I don't think I told anyone until now that I lied to my mom. But at least one person knows the events leading up to the lie.

6. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon when you were growing up? Bugs Bunny. I still like Bugs and Tweety. Even thought they weren't cartoons, I also loved H.R. Puffnstuf, and even had the soundtrack album of the show. I liked the Bugaloos, too, and Land of the Lost. The Flintstones weren't on Saturday mornings, were they? Anyway, I think the Flinstones are great!

7. Let's say one of your relatives slipped you a $100 bill, to help you out for the month. Your significant other didn't see it, would you tell them or keep it to yourself? I'd tell him. I don't keep any secrets from Nick.

It's time for participation positives ... a way to start monday

Nick
a family who loves me
we're moving into a brand new house in about 6 weeks!
I'm cutting down on smoking
I got a cool e-mail that made me feel good
this post
did I mention the new house?
I'm getting some really interesting comments here from some cool people. Thanks!
I made some money from epinions
I typed epinions correctly the first time instead of the "epionions," like I usually do
participation positives makes me smile
The RAOK Group makes me smile
the sun's out
Nick

I'm trying to quit smoking. I'm not doing a very good job. It's probably because, as bad as I know it is, I'm not ready yet. Kind of strange coming from someone with a family history of cancer and heart disease, wouldn't you say? Well, wish me luck.

Find out which LifeSaver you are.

I know writing/talking about politics and religion is only asking for trouble. But something has been bothering me since yesterday and if I don't write about it, I'll keep obsessing over it. There's a so-called "Christian" webring that has a blacklist of other webrings and groups its members are forbidden to join. Among these groups is The RAOK Group -- a group of people who believe spending 5 minutes a day spreading kindness on the Internet can make a difference. Why is RAOK so "bad," according to these people? Because Wiccans and gays (oh my God! No! Not those heathen homosexuals!!) and other naughty people are among the members. Other unacceptable practices/beliefs include transcendental meditation, numerology, ESP, new age, reincarnation and karma.

These are the kind of "Christians" that bother me and, quite frankly, scare me. Their tips and guidelines for deciding if the links on your site are acceptable include "Would you show this link to Jesus?" Well, yes. Yes I would point Jesus in the direction of RAOK. I like to think that if he didn't like it, we'd have a discussion about it. We'd listen to each other's points of view. He'd let me make my own decision. I debated on whether I should post a link to this site. I decided to do it so you can see for yourself, decide for yourself.

The link to the blacklisted sites was taken down yesterday after a few people expressed their opinions on it. I wish I could see it so I could show you what these "Christians" are saying about other people. It's one of the most un-Christian things I've ever seen. The woman who runs the group also deleted guestbook entries that took offense to the blacklist. Of course it's her right to delete anything she wants to from her guestbook, but I don't understand why she did it? Afraid of an intelligent discussion on the subject, perhaps?

I consider myself a Christian. However, I don't belong to an organized religion. I believe in being the best person I can be. I believe in helping others. I believe in being in kind. I believe in what Mahatma Gandhi taught -- "God has no religion." If we are to believe what the "Christians" in this group believe, we must believe Gandhi is not in heaven. Does anyone believe that?

*Take The Ice Cream Flavour Test!*

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

Today's Monday Mission:


1. I love to order a Wendy's "Frosty" and then dip my French Fries into it before I eat them. Do you have any eating habits others might think are odd? Do I ever! I think I have some that Nick doesn't even know about yet. Anyway, sometimes I like dipping my french fries in tartar sauce, but only if I'm eating fish. I like ketchup on my scrambled eggs, although I promised I wouldn't eat them that way in front of him. Let's see. I know I've got more, but I can't think of them right now.


2. What was the worst date you ever went on? I have to pick only one? Hmmm? I think this counts as a date since we weren't actually a couple and expected to go to weddings and family events together. It was his sister's wedding. The family's seats in the church were reserved and they didn't think to reserve one for me, so I had to sit by myself. At the reception, some relative forced me to eat something (I still don't know what it was) that made me sick and I ended up throwing up in the restroom for about 45 minutes. My date took that 45 minutes without me as an opportunity to get falling down drunk. He couldn't drive back to his parent's house afterward, so I had to drive a car I didn't know on a highway I didn't know, at night (I have mild night blindness) with a drunk guy giving me directions. At his parent's house, I was surrounded by relatives who were all older than me -- by about 40 years -- asking when the next wedding was. (We'd known each other for a month at the time.) Later, he drove me to my uncle's house, where I was spending the weekend. Although it was about 1 a.m. and I wasn't even sure if my uncle remembered to leave the door unlocked for me, my date didn't walk me to the door because it wasn't his "style." We broke up a few weeks later.


3. Who (or what site) inspired you to begin Blogging? These guys.


4. Have you inspired, encourgaed, or begged anyone else to start a Blog? I've been part of, how should I say this?, a group inspiration/encouragement thing to get a few people to start.


5. Any foods you just will not eat?Mussels. I just found that out recently. Nick's trying to "help" me with this answer. Uh. He's not helping.


6. Describe the worst Birthday party (adult or child's) that you ever attended? It wasn't so much the party that was bad, but what happened beforehand. I fell in the bathroom, cut my head on the corner of a drawer that was sticking out and had to get two stitches. I was 8 or 9.


7. What was the first music album you ever bought (tape, CD, LP, whichever or all of the above)? My dad used to buy me albums, so I had a little collection before I bought my very first one with my very own money. And yes, I'm going to admit this. It was The Partridge Family.


BONUS: Do you think you're what they say you are? da da da Su-perstar. Uh, yeah. They say I'm a freak. I am.

Which Drew Are You?

Okay, tell me what's worse: The fact that I actually took this test; the fact that Britney is my buddy; or the fact that I posted the results?

The Friday Five:

1. What makes you homesick? Thinking about my mom and the long talks we used to have. We still have long talks on the phone, but it's different in person.

2. Where is "home" for you? Is it where you are living now, or somewhere else (ie: Mom & Dad's house, particular state/city)? It was just about a year ago that I figured out "home" is where Nick is. I came here to visit for a week, but it only took a few hours before I realized this is where I belong.

3. What makes it home for you? People? Things?Nick

4. Where is the furthest you've been from home, miles-wise? 3778 miles. Paris, France. When I was 12, my aunt took me on a tour of Europe.

5. What are your plans for this weekend? A little work then, if all the planets are aligned properly, Nick and I are reinstituting our "Sunday date." Keep your fingers crossed for us, ok? It's been a long time.

Here's today's Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Eat: What one food do you love so much that you could easily overeat (be specific here)? I have to pick only one? Hmmm. Actually, this is pretty easy. Mashed potatoes and gravy, preferrably turkey or country gravy and real potatoes as opposed to instant. I love them made with lots of butter and milk and still slightly lumpy. Mmmm.

Twosome: Drink: What one beverage do you drink more than anything? Water. I try my best to drink a gallon a day. Sometimes it's hard to do, but I feel much better if I do.

Threesome: Be Merry: When life has you down, what one thing can remind you to smile? Nick. He always seems to find a way to make me feel better.

Very cute, very pink, and very feminine. That's you.

Find your inner rubber ducky.

I'm a broccoli! I'm introverted but always try to be more outgoing. I'm sort of dim on the outside but inside I'm really a good person and always trying to fit in. Even though a lot of people don't like me, they really do learn to love me!

Take the Vegetable Quiz by Krysten!

You're a classic. You're popular. What else could you ask for? Maybe a taste in music, but that's up to you.

You are "Kraft Macaroni and Cheese". You cost a little more,
due to your promotional shapes and packaging, but the kids
won't stand for less. You try and be individual in
spite of this though. You prefer to be called "Cheese and
Macaroni" thank you very much.

Take the What Kind of Macaroni and Cheese Are You? Quiz

Created by LJ User RobProv222

I'm Lil, who are you? by Dru & Lexi






Which Rocky character are you?


Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty




Take the "How immature are you?" Test

created by sami





What is your meaning of life?

Which "Natural Wonder" are you?

Here's the first ever Thursday Three. (via shadow runes.)

Onesome: Where did you first hear of a blog? Nick first mentioned the idea, a little over a year ago, that we should blog about our experiences while waiting for me to move here. We never got around to doing that, though. Too bad. It would have been good. I didn't get around to starting my own until August.

Twosome: The first weblog you read regularly? Other than family, the first blog I read regularly was the now-defunct bulletproof and bleeding. I came across it a fews days before Sept. 11 and knew the author was a flight attendant. I was definitely hooked after that, because her insights into the airline industry were interesting and unique.

Threesome: What keeps you coming back to a blog? That's a tough one. There's not just one thing, or even a couple things. It just has to touch me in some way -- make me laugh, cry, think, want to know more about the person.

My mom called Monday and told me my old high school (old, as in it doesn't exist anymore) is having a reunion this summer for all the classes from 1962 to 2000, when it closed. I'm not going. I've never been to a reunion for just my class. I certainly don't want to see people from other classes, most of whom I couldn't care less about. Anyway, as Nick and I were talking about this, our conversation somehow turned to weird things that our junior high schools and grade schools did. Then, I remembered in kindergarten we were divided into groups based on how smart/advanced we were. There were the blue birds (the smartest), yellow birds, green birds, black birds, orange birds and pink birds (the least smart). Although this was supposed to help the not-so-smart kids not feel bad so they wouldn't see how fast the "blue birds" answered questions, learned to write, learned the alphabet, etc., it didn't really work. It was blatant segregation actually. I mean, everyone knew the pink birds had to be the dumb kids because there's no such thing as a pink bird. Well, except for flamingoes and, let's face it. If you're pegged as a "pink bird" in kindergarten you're probably going to end up having a plastic flamingo in your front yard at some point in your life.

Here's Tuesday's This-or-That:

Dial-up or cable? Dial-up for now. We've talked about getting cable when we move to our house.

Wal-mart or K-mart? Wal-mart. They have a better selection, lower prices and, in my experience, friendlier, more helpful employees.

Butterfly or dragonfly? Butterfly

Plus or minus? Plus

Liberal or conservative? Conservative

Do you believe in God or not? Yes

Sun or moon? Moon

Do you exercise regularly or not? Not anymore

Coffee or tea? Coffee

St. Patrick's Day or Easter? St. Patrick's Day. Although to many non-Irish people it's an excuse to get drunk and act crazy, to me it's more than that. It's a chance to celebrate and show pride in my ancestory. I'll miss watching the parade in NYC this year, (It's always on WPIX Channel 11.) and I'd be interested to see how it's going to be because of Sept. 11. Anyway, I've always been proud of my Irish roots and St. Patrick's Day has always been a special day for my family. By the way, I'm not full-blooded Irish. As my Irish dad used to say, his kids are FBI - full-blooded Irish & Italian.

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

via Linda

Here's my Monday Mission:

1. What part of your body would you most like to change? Explain. My butt. Do I really need to explain?

2. What are the Blogs you absolutely must visit each time you log on, no matter what? yet again, improper, hoopty, cerebral moloko, these folks, wallow. I think that's the short list.

3. What part of your (current or most recent) significant other's body would you most like to change? That's a tough one.

4. At what age would you consider yourself as "old?" Another tough one. 60?

5. I hear many stories about children who show potential in a certain area, only to have their spirits crushed by parents or teachers because they are told they aren't doing it right, or will never amount to anything. Was there a point in your life where you feel like you were discouraged in some manner that had an effect on your life? Not really. I guess I'm lucky. For the most part, I was encouraged to do whatever I wanted to do. I was given lots of opportunites as well.

6. Eek! I left home without my Visor today, I feel nearly naked! What item(s) make you feel naked when you walk off and forget them? Nothing now. I used to not be able to leave the house without a pen and notebook just in case I came across a breaking news story.

7. I believe we are all artistic in some form or fashion. Not just limited to drawing or painting, but carpentry, baking, music, gardening, collecting, you get the idea. What is it you do that best expresses your artistic side? Writing, although I rarely show it in my blogs. But I'll be changing that soon when this one becomes an outlet for creative writing instead of a blog.

BONUS: Stop, hey... what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. ... It's ear shattering, wall rattling, make-me-want-to-strangle-someone, anxiety inducing sound of the kids next door. Thank God they were only visiting for the weekend.

Here are my positives .... a great way to start Monday.

*Nick
*a family who loves me
*the wheels are in motion for us to buy a house
*Jess is engaged and has a beautiful ring. Congratulations!
*I got good sleep last night
*Apolo was on the "Today" show
*I'm feeling pretty good for a change
*Nick