The Scootch Doctor

Actually, the new guy is the "slide down" doctor but, that's beside the point. I expected him to say "You're 44 years old. It's perfectly normal." I was totally unprepared to hear "Your uterus is enlarged. I'm going to order an ultrasound."

Aging Parents

My Mom and I planned on going to Mass at 10:30 a.m. on Sunday. At 7 a.m. she called Time & Temperature to find out what the temperature was so she could decide what she was going to wear. I said "You checked the temperature now to decide what you're going to wear three hours from now?" Then, of course, she looked at me as if I was the one who just did something that didn't make sense.

Today, she has a doctor's appointment at 10:30 a.m. At 7:30 a.m. she started getting ready. Beginning at about 8:45 a.m. she will sit in a chair, completely dressed and ready to go, watching the clock, so she won't be late when the time comes to leave for the doctor's office ... at 10:15.

Yes, I know everyone has idiosyncrasies that drive other people crazy. I wonder why people develop more of them when they older.

Cyril Wecht

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I covered two events at which he spoke. One was on the 35th anniversary of President Kennedy's death; the other on JonBenet Ramsey. Several days after the Kennedy talk, I received a hand-signed letter from Dr. Wecht in which he told me I did a good job making a complicated issue easy to read, and he appreciated it. Cool, huh?

I also recently learned that he was involved in the real-life unsolved murder that inspired my first novel, Contempt of Court. GSG said he was very well-informed about the case and had very vivid recollections of it, despite the fact it happened nearly 30 years ago (at the time GSG talked to him). Maybe I should send Dr. Wecht a complimentary copy. Now, that's an idea.

So, although these are serious subjects about death and murder, me being me, I have to add a little self-serving humor (even if I'm the only one who thinks it's funny. There's now only one degree of separation between me and Dan Abrams (aka "my boyfriend"), because he's interviewed Dr. Wecht.

Matchmaking Part III, um, or IV, uh ... Oh, who cares?

I talked to the guy who's been attempting to do some matchmaking for me. He told me he hasn't forgotten and he's still trying but he's having trouble because, and I quote, "I didn't realize what jerks my friends are." One good thing is that he said he doesn't want to set me up with a jerk. Thank you. I've been with enough jerks to last a lifetime.

Johnnie Cochran

Short-sighted, uninformed people with closed minds really piss me off. He was about so much more than the O.J. Simpson case. He was, possibly, one of the greatest civil rights, and human rights, lawyers of all time, certainly of his generation. He righted so many injustices. He was a champion of the downtrodden. Please, if all you know about him is "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit," please go read more about him. And, even in the O.J. trial, he managed to point out corruption and bad practices in law enforcement and certain practices in evidence collection and storage, as well as incompetance in the L.A. District Attorney's office.

I was totally appalled when my boyfriend said that after his first show last night he got e-mails from people saying they would never watch him again, and lost all respect for him, because he declared his friendship for Cochran and spoke nicely about him. These people need to get a clue. I would think that people watching the most intelligent and balanced news show on the air would have already had a clue. Apparently not.

Michael Jackson

I don't remember if I've written anything about Michael Jackson. I can't imagine that I have because it's just too sad on so many levels that I wouldn't even know where to start. So, the only thing I'm going to write is something David Letterman said last night:

"I'm beginning to think he's peculiar."

The Dentist

I like my dentist. One reason is that he gives me lots of Novocaine so I can't feel a thing. Because of the bad dentist I had several years ago, I hadn't been going for a while. He was an old guy and shouldn't have been practicing dentistry as long as he was. The last time I went to him, he drilled right into my cheek and into my gum. OUCH! And that's an understatement. So, after that, I didn't go to the dentist for years. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that when I started going back, I needed a lot of stuff done. I'm such a hypochondriac and drama queen that I thought for sure I was going to have most of my teeth pulled and get dentures. Luckily, it was mostly fillings, along with two deep cleanings and one extraction. The last filling was today. But now comes the hard part. Root canal. Yikes! Even the sound of it scares me. But I keep telling myself I'll be glad I had it done. I hope I still like my dentist after the root canal.

Stupidity

My ex has bouts of extreme jealousy, even now after we haven't been together for four years. He was even jealous when I weighed 220 pounds and simple logic would tell a normal person that no one else was even looking at me, let alone thinking about doing anything with me. A couple of days ago he told me he saw a friend of mine (a guy I'll call The Trouble Maker) at a convenience store and The Trouble Maker mentioned that he just saw me there the day before. My ex said to me "That's why you go there, isn't it? Because he lives across the street." I said "No. I go there because cigarettes are 40 cents cheaper, the coffee is always fresh and it's 1 mintue from where I work." He didn't believe me. He still believes I go there to run into The Trouble Maker. But, he didn't bother to take this consideration. I didn't tell him, but still. I've been going to that particular convenience store since September because they had this awesome pumpkin spice cappucino that I quickly became addicted to. That's when I learned that cigarettes are way cheaper there. In the six months I've been going there, I've seen The Trouble Maker one time inside the store. However, I talk to him at least, at least once a week at work when he calls and/or comes in. We call each other at home for other reasons and I see him at other places around town a few times a week. We've been to each other's houses, and are welcome at each other's houses any time. So yes, I switched convenience stores so I could run into him once in six months. Sheesh!

Seinfeld vs. Real Life

Thanks to an episode of Seinfeld the "kiss hello" has been immortalized. If you'll remember, there was a problem with a woman Jerry didn't know that well (I think) giving him the "kiss hello," and he thought it was inappropriate. Comedy ensued. Anyway, because of that episode, there is little mention anywhere of another greeting, which can be misconstrued. The hug hello. I must admit I hadn't even given the hug hello much thought until this morning.

Let's add some background, shall we? There's this guy (Surprise! Me talking about a guy!) who I've known for quite some time. In the last year or so we've gotten to know each other a little better because I volunteer at a place where he is quite frequently. But I still consider us on the borderline between acquaintances and friends. When I first started volunteering at this place, I had fleeting thoughts about a relationship with this guy. But, when several months went by and nothing happened, I figured he wasn't interested.

Fast forward to this morning after church. I was walking through the parking lot, saw him getting into his car and waved. He got out of his car, waited 'til I walked up to him, and then he wished me a happy Easter and hugged me. Unlike the kiss hello, which was unwelcome, the hug hello, albeit unanticipated, was nice. So nice, in fact, that I was thinking Whoa. Can we do that again? Now, I hope I can explain this properly. The conversation we had was uncomfortable in a good kind of way. It was kind of like we were both saying "I haven't seen you in about six weeks and I missed you, but I'm too shy to tell you that so I'm going to make silly small talk about anything I can think of just so we can keep talking."

Ya know, sometimes the answer is right in front of you. You just have to open your eyes and look. Now I have to wonder if this is the answer. I'm sure you know updates will be forthcoming. ;)

Personal hygiene

Have you ever been in contact with someone who really stinks? I mean really stinks, so much so that you practically gag because the smell is just so overwhelming? So much so that the smell lingers after the person leaves the room? So much so that if you hang your coat next to this person's the smell permeates into your coat so you have to get it dry cleaned? I don't get it. Can't they smell themselves? Doesn't it gross them out, too? Or are they just so used to it that it doesn't bother them? But, I mean, really, they must know, mustn't they? Doesn't common sense tell you that if you don't take a shower or wash your clothes for a week you're going to stink?

I realize people have issues. One of the reason I got fat isn't that I didn't want to be attractive to guys (for reasons I've mentioned before but don't feel up to writing about now). But, I got over it, lost weight and I'm pretty much ok now. Are smelly people purposely trying to disgust other people so they won't get close to them?

I have a friend who had a hard time taking showers, or being around water at all, for that matter, because he was sexually abused as a child and the pervert used to make him perform oral sex in a swimming pool. But he eventually worked everything out.

So, see? I do understand about issues. I also understand about working them out. If, however, the issue is laziness, that's just fucking rude. Have a little consideration for the people you come in contact with everyday.