I'm so weird sometimes
Yeah, I know. I've mentioned that a time or two before. So, why am I mentioning it again? I didn't go to work today because I felt like crap. So, what did I do at 11 p.m. when it was 20-something degrees and snowing? I got dressed, went outside, stood on my front porch and watched for the coach's truck to drive by so I could then walk down the hill and casually run into him. So, his truck goes by, I walk down the hill. But, when I get to the corner and see him walking from his truck to his house I don't say anything or smile or even wave. I cross the street and walk in the opposite direction! What's wrong with me?! It's not as if I've never talked to him or anything before. I think the problem is that I've never thought of him that way before. I take that back. I have thought of him that way before. When I was 13. Probably when I was 14 and 15, too. I feel kind of 15-ish right now. Actually, I feel more 15 now than I did 30 years ago. You know how they (again, whoever "they" are) say "If only I knew then what I know now ...?" Well, I do know now what I didn't know when I was 15, so why is it harder now? Shouldn't it be easier? Actually, as I'm writing this, I think I'm developing a theory. I think the reason I'm afraid to take the sports guy's advice and ask the coach out for a drink or something because there are only 2 guys in this godforesaken town I'm attracted to -- the coach and, heaven help me, GSG. If the coach says no, then what do I do? Start lookin' for love in all the wrong places again? I mean, it's not as if George Clooney is going to start filming a movie here anytime soon so he can meet me and fall madly in love with me. Besides, I'm not even really looking for love or even a serious relationship. I just want to go to dinner or a movie every now and then. Not even dinner and a movie. Either/or is just fine with me.
Well, it's time to stop rambling and whining. I'm becoming an expert at both.
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