My Dad (continued from yesterday)
When my dad went into the hospital for the last time in March 1989 he was on life support for 10 days. For the first few days, he was able to write us notes and communicate, make jokes, tell us he loved us (through notes and sign language), watch television (the St. Patrick's Day parade, in particular, I remember). But as his condition deteriorated and we realized he would have to live the rest of his life on feeding and breathing tubes and a catheter, we knew a decision had to be made. If he couldn't walk around, especially outside, go out to buy books he wanted to read, and interact with his family and friends, his life wouldn't be what he wanted it to be. Ultimately, it was my mom's decision to discontinue life support. My mom's decision. My father's wife. The person who should make the decision. Not his son or daughters. Not his brothers. His wife. Believe me, it was not an easy decision but, because she was his wife, the rest of the family supported her decision. We would have supported it no matter what it was because we knew that she knew better than anyone what he would want.
My mother has let me and her doctor know that she does not want to be kept alive through artifical means. If she can't go shopping, go to Mass, garden, interact with her family, especially her grandchildren, her life would have no meaning. Unless, for whatever reason, I die before she does, I know I will have to be the one to give the order not to keep her alive via machines. However, I do know that's what she wants. It'll be hard, but I can do it. I can't imagine what Michael Schiavo is going through, knowing that he's trying to abide by his wife's wishes and her family won't let him.
If the Schindler's and Terri's so-called advocates insist on using right-to-life as an argument and continue to ignore her wishes, I hope some part of their minds are wondering "What if Michael is right?"
Oh, and by the way, did you know that the video clips of Terri from four years ago were gleaned from hundreds, hundreds of hours of video tape? Hundreds of hours and they could only come up with less than two minutes worth of clips that allegedly show she responds to certain stimuli? I say "allegedly" because medical experts say that, during hundreds of hours, random responses will occur and could be interpreted as a valid response. But they're not. They're random.
Also, I wish her family would stop saying she's being denied food and water. That's not the case. And, medical experts have also said she can't feel hunger or pain so when people say she's being starved to death, that's a misnomer.
It's not about any of that, though. It's about what Terri wanted. Please remember that. It's about what Terri wanted.
For the record, if I can't read, write, take pictures and interact with my friends and family, there's no point for me to be alive. My family knows that. Does your family know what you would want should you end up in Terri's condition?
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