California Bloggin' v5.0 :: Desiderium

Another Installment of Weird Dreams

When I was in college, we didn't have fraternities or sororities. So, instead of having frat parties, we had "floor parties." As the name implies, entire dorm floors would have parties, invite lots of people and drink beer and "bash." (Bash is a mix of vodka, grain alcohol, Hawaiin Punch and fresh fruit. And it must be served from a clean trash can, lined of course.) How does this relate to my dream? I'll tell ya. I was at a floor party but, it wasn't in my dorm (but it was, ya know?). It was in a luxury hotel on a beach. One of the people I invited was Ashton Kutcher.* We were outside my room, trying to get in through the crowd of people, because all my other friends were in there. By the time we made it inside, my friends told me we had to leave and go to another party. Somehow, before we got to the other party, we had all changed from jeans and T-shirts into semi-formal-wear. At this other party, some really short girl was trying to steal Ashton away from me. It was so bad that it was like an episode of "Punk'd."

I don't know how I got from that party to my parents' house on Christmas Day. The weirdest thing that happened was that I was myself now and myself as a little girl at the same time. Yes, heaven help me, there were two of me. I, as a little girl, with the "now" me watching, was playing a game with my brother, who was the age he is now. At one point, my sister was looking at pictures of past Christmases. One of the pictures was of a bunch of boys looking at something (I don't know what). I was in the picture, as a little girl, sitting on the couch, pointing at one of the boys. As she was looking at the picture, my sister asked my mother if the boys were "neighborhood boys." My mother said they were and she and my father used to invite all the kids in the neighborhood to the house on Christmas Day. Then she started identifying all the boys. My sister started laughing and said she knew the one had to be The Coach (except she used his name. My few regular readers may remember him from last winter.) because I was pointing at him.

The next thing I knew, I was working at a restaurant where I used to work. The guy who was my boss then, but is no longer there, was my boss again. But instead of being a manager, like I was before, I was a waitress. There was only one other waitress working, and it was kind of slow so we spent most of the time in the office with the boss. When 3 p.m. rolled around, I thought I was going to be able to go home and get back to celebrating Christmas with my family. But the boss told me he changed the schedule and I had to work until 3:30. I was angry at first but, then the boss told me he hired someone to design new uniforms for us and the person should be finished with them, and show them to us, before I left. Half an hour later, Ashton Kutcher comes out of some hidden room with the newly designed uniform. We all hated the new design. I even said the reason I didn't want to be a waitress when I first started working there is that the uniforms were so ugly ... and these were worse than those. But then when I saw that his feelings were hurt, I told him I liked the color, although I really didn't. They were some kind of ugly, blue metallic that just didn't work well as fabric. And, they looked like maternity jumpers.

Then, I woke up.

*I finally realized why I dream about Ashton Kutcher so much. He's actually not Ashton in my dreams; he's standing in for The Best Friend. We were in high school at the same time the characters in "That 70s Show" were. Kelso, no surprise, is my favorite character on the show. However, the only thing Kelso and The Best Friend have in common is that they were the best looking guys in school. Anyway, it's hard to explain how I know Ashton is The Best Friend in my dreams. I just know.