Un-f'ing-real
I didn't watch Tuesday's show so I don't know first-hand what happened. However, I didn't hear anyone mention Constantine forgetting all the lyrics or falling off the stage or anything catastrophic. However, I did hear that Simon tol d Scott he should pack his bags. Simon's feelings, aside, and again noting that I didn't watch the show, I must ask: WHY IS SCOTT THERE?
How on earth can Scott have a bigger fan base than Constantine? What planet are these people from? I just don't get i t. Twenty-something hours later and I'm still dumbfounded.
C
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
So much to write about, so few brain cells
Actually, I have plenty of brain cells. The problem is they're not functioning properly. Anemia sucks.
Michael Jackson, Tom DeLay, handcuffed kindergartners, American Idol, gas prices, snow, drowned toddlers, steroids in the NFL, buffaloes on the tennis court, the ligher ban ... The list goes on. There's so much to write about but I can barely string two sentences together.
Have I mentioned that anemia sucks?
15 days and counting. Thank God!
Actually, I have plenty of brain cells. The problem is they're not functioning properly. Anemia sucks.
Michael Jackson, Tom DeLay, handcuffed kindergartners, American Idol, gas prices, snow, drowned toddlers, steroids in the NFL, buffaloes on the tennis court, the ligher ban ... The list goes on. There's so much to write about but I can barely string two sentences together.
Have I mentioned that anemia sucks?
15 days and counting. Thank God!
Monday, April 25, 2005
Changing times
I started watching Die Hard on TV yesterday. Within the first few mintues, I realized how much times have changed since 1988. Police Officer John McClane, after revealing his gun on the airplane, gets to the baggage check area inside LAX and lights a cigarette with a Zippo. I couldn't even watch the rest of the movie because I would have been picking out other things that couldn't be in the movie if it was made today.
I started watching Die Hard on TV yesterday. Within the first few mintues, I realized how much times have changed since 1988. Police Officer John McClane, after revealing his gun on the airplane, gets to the baggage check area inside LAX and lights a cigarette with a Zippo. I couldn't even watch the rest of the movie because I would have been picking out other things that couldn't be in the movie if it was made today.
Snow
I hate April snow. I hate October, November, January, February and March snow, too, but April snow is worse. During the last two weeks, we had temperatures in the 70s. I was wearing flip flops. I wasn't wearing a coat. The sun felt so good and helped cheer me up. Now, it's cold and yucky and I have to brush off the car. April snow sucks.
I hate April snow. I hate October, November, January, February and March snow, too, but April snow is worse. During the last two weeks, we had temperatures in the 70s. I was wearing flip flops. I wasn't wearing a coat. The sun felt so good and helped cheer me up. Now, it's cold and yucky and I have to brush off the car. April snow sucks.
Is the Pope Catholic? Yep.
I've been trying for a few days to figure out how to write this but I couldn't find the right words. Then, I thought Hey, I bet my fellow SBU alum Neil Cavuto wrote somthing about it. Sure enough, he did. And, he wrote it better than I could have. I guess that's why he's working for (*gag*) Fox and I'm working here.
I've been trying for a few days to figure out how to write this but I couldn't find the right words. Then, I thought Hey, I bet my fellow SBU alum Neil Cavuto wrote somthing about it. Sure enough, he did. And, he wrote it better than I could have. I guess that's why he's working for (*gag*) Fox and I'm working here.
Bible verses
I never thought of myself as the kind of person who has favorite Bible verses. But, as I was reading a book written by a friend of mine, I realized I used to have a favorite verse. It's Psalms 30:5. "Though weeping may endure for a night, joy comes in the morning."
I never thought of myself as the kind of person who has favorite Bible verses. But, as I was reading a book written by a friend of mine, I realized I used to have a favorite verse. It's Psalms 30:5. "Though weeping may endure for a night, joy comes in the morning."
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Crisis!
I may have to reschedule the surgery. Why?
Surgery date: May 12
Expected hospital release date: May 15
Expected date to be out of the house: May 29
Release date of new Star Wars movie: May 19
I see a major problem there, unless the movie doesn't get here right away or, if it does, if it's held over.
Oh, the dilemna!
I may have to reschedule the surgery. Why?
Surgery date: May 12
Expected hospital release date: May 15
Expected date to be out of the house: May 29
Release date of new Star Wars movie: May 19
I see a major problem there, unless the movie doesn't get here right away or, if it does, if it's held over.
Oh, the dilemna!
Spongeworthy
It figures. The Today Sponge is back on the market just when I don't need it anymore.
Well, I'm still going to use the Spongeworthy Scale to decide who to sleep with.
It figures. The Today Sponge is back on the market just when I don't need it anymore.
Well, I'm still going to use the Spongeworthy Scale to decide who to sleep with.
Disturbing Search Results
There used to be a Web site where you could post your disturbing/weird search results. I don't know what happened to it. So, I'm going to have to post mine here. Actually, they're more weird than disturbing but give it time. I've gotten disturbing results before. I'm sure I will again. Anyway, without any further ado ... here they are:
Do you remember your first time?
Why yes. Yes, I do. Thanks for bringing up that memory. OK. OK. It wasn't all that bad. In fact, it was pretty good. I could have done without the next couple of years with that guy, though.
Frank Sinatra Aftershave.
Um, I really don't think Frank Sinatra has been wearing aftershave for quite some time.
The next two aren't weird or disturbing. Actually, because they came up consecutively, they made me smile. Why? On my search results page, I got to read Dan Abrams dating Anne Holliday. Yeah. In my dreams.
There used to be a Web site where you could post your disturbing/weird search results. I don't know what happened to it. So, I'm going to have to post mine here. Actually, they're more weird than disturbing but give it time. I've gotten disturbing results before. I'm sure I will again. Anyway, without any further ado ... here they are:
Do you remember your first time?
Why yes. Yes, I do. Thanks for bringing up that memory. OK. OK. It wasn't all that bad. In fact, it was pretty good. I could have done without the next couple of years with that guy, though.
Frank Sinatra Aftershave.
Um, I really don't think Frank Sinatra has been wearing aftershave for quite some time.
The next two aren't weird or disturbing. Actually, because they came up consecutively, they made me smile. Why? On my search results page, I got to read Dan Abrams dating Anne Holliday. Yeah. In my dreams.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
The Boss
This story is about Springsteen's appearance on VH1 Storytellers this weekend. However, it doesn't include this cool quote that the AP story had:
‘‘Talking about music is like talking about sex,’’ he said. ‘‘Can you describe it? Are you supposed to?’’d
This story is about Springsteen's appearance on VH1 Storytellers this weekend. However, it doesn't include this cool quote that the AP story had:
‘‘Talking about music is like talking about sex,’’ he said. ‘‘Can you describe it? Are you supposed to?’’d
No more
Obviously, I am watching a different Tuesday night American Idol than the Idol voting public, so I have decided not to watch on Tuesdays anymore. It's too frustrating to see the Tuesday performances then see on Wednesdays that the Idol voting public got it wrong.
In what alternate universe are Scott and Anthony better than Nadia and Anwar?
Obviously, I am watching a different Tuesday night American Idol than the Idol voting public, so I have decided not to watch on Tuesdays anymore. It's too frustrating to see the Tuesday performances then see on Wednesdays that the Idol voting public got it wrong.
In what alternate universe are Scott and Anthony better than Nadia and Anwar?
I worry myself sometimes
At 4:30 p.m. yesterday I was attempting to rid myself of one of the 10 worst headaches I've ever had. I thought that maybe if I ate something I'd feel better. (Comfort eating. Old habits may fade away but it's hard to kill them.) As I was wolfing down my salad, I was thinking Why am I eating so fast? It's like I haven't eaten since ... Then I started laughing. It was exactly like I hadn't eaten anything in 7 1/2 hours. I gotta stop doing that.
At 4:30 p.m. yesterday I was attempting to rid myself of one of the 10 worst headaches I've ever had. I thought that maybe if I ate something I'd feel better. (Comfort eating. Old habits may fade away but it's hard to kill them.) As I was wolfing down my salad, I was thinking Why am I eating so fast? It's like I haven't eaten since ... Then I started laughing. It was exactly like I hadn't eaten anything in 7 1/2 hours. I gotta stop doing that.
Papal Conclave Puppet Theatre
I'm the second search result for Papal Conclave Puppet Theatre. I think there's a lesson to be learned here. If you're not watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann, you hear about something cool that was on the show, then you have to Google it, then you find yourself at the blog of some wacky chick who admits she can't give the aforementioned cool thing justice by describing it. Just watch the show. It'll be much less frustrating for you.
I'm the second search result for Papal Conclave Puppet Theatre. I think there's a lesson to be learned here. If you're not watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann, you hear about something cool that was on the show, then you have to Google it, then you find yourself at the blog of some wacky chick who admits she can't give the aforementioned cool thing justice by describing it. Just watch the show. It'll be much less frustrating for you.
The Red Cross rocks
I love the Red Cross, not just because of all the work they do, but because of the wonderful people who work at the local chapter here. I just can't say enough good things about them. Plus, they give me stuff:
It's 2 cookies, 3 Hershey's kisses and a note that says "April 17-23 is National Volunteers Week. Thank you for all you do for your neighbors."
I love the Red Cross, not just because of all the work they do, but because of the wonderful people who work at the local chapter here. I just can't say enough good things about them. Plus, they give me stuff:
It's 2 cookies, 3 Hershey's kisses and a note that says "April 17-23 is National Volunteers Week. Thank you for all you do for your neighbors."
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
As simple as black and white
Well, unless you're talking chapel chimnies.
I don't know why this whole thing makes me cry but, I did.
I'm still hoping it's Cardinal McCarrick. I try to pull for the underdog, although I know an American pope could possibly be one of the signs of the apocolypse.
Anyway, good luck to the new pope!
Well, unless you're talking chapel chimnies.
I don't know why this whole thing makes me cry but, I did.
I'm still hoping it's Cardinal McCarrick. I try to pull for the underdog, although I know an American pope could possibly be one of the signs of the apocolypse.
Anyway, good luck to the new pope!
Comic relief
I try my best to find humor in just about every situation. Laughter really is the best medicine and helps ease the tension. No, I'm not talking about my current medical condition. I'm talking about all the Pope stuff.
If you missed Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night, you missed one of the funniest things that's been on television in a long time: Papal Conclave Puppet Theatre.
I wish I could do it justice by describing it here. The transcript of the show should be up later today. You've got to check it out. While you're reading it, just imagine cardinals as Popsicle stick puppets. Oh man, you really should have watched the show.
I try my best to find humor in just about every situation. Laughter really is the best medicine and helps ease the tension. No, I'm not talking about my current medical condition. I'm talking about all the Pope stuff.
If you missed Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night, you missed one of the funniest things that's been on television in a long time: Papal Conclave Puppet Theatre.
I wish I could do it justice by describing it here. The transcript of the show should be up later today. You've got to check it out. While you're reading it, just imagine cardinals as Popsicle stick puppets. Oh man, you really should have watched the show.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Illiterate people shouldn't drive
As a public service, could all of you who are reading this please relay the message to anyone you know with a driver's license who happens to be illiterate?
N-o P-a-r-k-i-n-g spells No Parking. Should a further explanation be necessary, it means do not leave your vehicle here.
Should I learn that illiteracy is not the problem, I will suggest a new sign to the people who decide where the signs go: No Parking. This means YOU you ignorant, inconsiderate asshole.
As a public service, could all of you who are reading this please relay the message to anyone you know with a driver's license who happens to be illiterate?
N-o P-a-r-k-i-n-g spells No Parking. Should a further explanation be necessary, it means do not leave your vehicle here.
Should I learn that illiteracy is not the problem, I will suggest a new sign to the people who decide where the signs go: No Parking. This means YOU you ignorant, inconsiderate asshole.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Basket Weaving 101
I was glad that Thursday's AAUW meeting included something really fun so I could keep my mind off the ultrasound on Friday. We were going to do basket weaving. Uh, did I say fun? Imagine 30 college-educated women mumbling "over, under, over, under, over ... dammit." But the instructors assured us that after we got the first two rows done, the rest would be easy. I didn't believe them. I kept thinking "And they have people do this to relieve stress?" I was ready to cry and throw my 2-rowed basket across the room. But the third row was easier, and it did get easier after that. I still don't know how women in the old days weaved a basket, went out and picked berries and nuts to put in the basket, then went home and cooked dinner ... with no Xanax to calm them down. But, now that it's over, and my basket doesn't look too bad for a first attempt, I might try it again.
I was glad that Thursday's AAUW meeting included something really fun so I could keep my mind off the ultrasound on Friday. We were going to do basket weaving. Uh, did I say fun? Imagine 30 college-educated women mumbling "over, under, over, under, over ... dammit." But the instructors assured us that after we got the first two rows done, the rest would be easy. I didn't believe them. I kept thinking "And they have people do this to relieve stress?" I was ready to cry and throw my 2-rowed basket across the room. But the third row was easier, and it did get easier after that. I still don't know how women in the old days weaved a basket, went out and picked berries and nuts to put in the basket, then went home and cooked dinner ... with no Xanax to calm them down. But, now that it's over, and my basket doesn't look too bad for a first attempt, I might try it again.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Results
First of all, big thanks to everyone who commented and e-mailed to wish me well. Now, here's the news. I have to have a hysterectomy. There are 5 tumors. They're pretty big. I'm 44. I'm very symptomatic. Hysterectomy is the best option.
*sigh*
But, hey. Let's look on the bright side. Just think of all the money I'll save on feminie hygiene products, Pamprin and birth control.
Now I know why people get angry with me for always trying to look on the bright side. I just pissed myself off.
First of all, big thanks to everyone who commented and e-mailed to wish me well. Now, here's the news. I have to have a hysterectomy. There are 5 tumors. They're pretty big. I'm 44. I'm very symptomatic. Hysterectomy is the best option.
*sigh*
But, hey. Let's look on the bright side. Just think of all the money I'll save on feminie hygiene products, Pamprin and birth control.
Now I know why people get angry with me for always trying to look on the bright side. I just pissed myself off.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
More weird dreams
I dreamed that Keith Olbermann was dating Alison Stewart, (my favorite female news person). That's not the weird part. The weird part is that I was upset about it. Yeah, sure, I'll admit it. I'd do Keith Olbermann but it's not as if Alison was dating my boyfriend. Then, I'd be upset.
But I'd be more upset if Weird Dream Number Two came ever really happened. I was at the dining hall at college and they were out of chicken tenders, mashed potatoes and gravy. Now that would have been tragic.
Anyway, do you think Weird Dream Number One means I'm watching too much MSNBC? (As if calling Dan Abrams "my boyfriend" doesn't already answer that question.)
I dreamed that Keith Olbermann was dating Alison Stewart, (my favorite female news person). That's not the weird part. The weird part is that I was upset about it. Yeah, sure, I'll admit it. I'd do Keith Olbermann but it's not as if Alison was dating my boyfriend. Then, I'd be upset.
But I'd be more upset if Weird Dream Number Two came ever really happened. I was at the dining hall at college and they were out of chicken tenders, mashed potatoes and gravy. Now that would have been tragic.
Anyway, do you think Weird Dream Number One means I'm watching too much MSNBC? (As if calling Dan Abrams "my boyfriend" doesn't already answer that question.)
Tales of the Traffic-law-challenged Part III
Picture, if you will, three vehicles stopped in the left-turn lane waiting for the light to change. Vehicle one is using a turn signal. Vehicle three, which I was driving, is using a turn signal. I have come up with two possible thoughts that were going through the mind of the driver of vehicle two. A) It's the left-turn lane so, obviously, I'm turning left. Why do I need a turn signal? B) What the heck are those blinking lights on the car in front of me and behind me?
I'm going for B. If someone is too lazy or ignorant to use a turn signal it's doubtful that person would have the ability to process the thought in option A.
One more question, specifically to senior citizen drivers: Why do you find it necessary to come to complete stop on a busy road before turning into a parking lot? With all due respect, this is how accidents happen!
Picture, if you will, three vehicles stopped in the left-turn lane waiting for the light to change. Vehicle one is using a turn signal. Vehicle three, which I was driving, is using a turn signal. I have come up with two possible thoughts that were going through the mind of the driver of vehicle two. A) It's the left-turn lane so, obviously, I'm turning left. Why do I need a turn signal? B) What the heck are those blinking lights on the car in front of me and behind me?
I'm going for B. If someone is too lazy or ignorant to use a turn signal it's doubtful that person would have the ability to process the thought in option A.
One more question, specifically to senior citizen drivers: Why do you find it necessary to come to complete stop on a busy road before turning into a parking lot? With all due respect, this is how accidents happen!
Guilty pleasure
I'm hesitant to admit this but, I have a confession to make. I'm not proud of this. In fact, I'm quite embarrassed but it's time to come clean. Well, almost time. First, I have to tell y'all that I'm totally aware of how bad this is. It's a Guilty pleasure with a capital G. It's Guilt of almost biblical proportions. Okay. I think I'm ready now. Here it is: I love The Simple Life. No, not the living without electricity, churning my own butter, baking my own bread simple life. It's not that innocent. I love the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie television show, The Simple Life: Interns. I think Paris is adorable and funny. Nicole says at least one thing every week that cracks me up and has me literally laughing out loud. I won't give any examples, though, because I know their antics wouldn't translate well from television to blog.
There. I feel much better now. And who says confession's not good for the soul?
P.S. I just heard that Paris is dumping Nicole. *sigh*
I'm hesitant to admit this but, I have a confession to make. I'm not proud of this. In fact, I'm quite embarrassed but it's time to come clean. Well, almost time. First, I have to tell y'all that I'm totally aware of how bad this is. It's a Guilty pleasure with a capital G. It's Guilt of almost biblical proportions. Okay. I think I'm ready now. Here it is: I love The Simple Life. No, not the living without electricity, churning my own butter, baking my own bread simple life. It's not that innocent. I love the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie television show, The Simple Life: Interns. I think Paris is adorable and funny. Nicole says at least one thing every week that cracks me up and has me literally laughing out loud. I won't give any examples, though, because I know their antics wouldn't translate well from television to blog.
There. I feel much better now. And who says confession's not good for the soul?
P.S. I just heard that Paris is dumping Nicole. *sigh*
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Holy Cheetos!
Get a grip, people! I heard last night on the radio that on ebay someone is selling a Cheeto that looks like ... Are ya ready for this? Jesus' legs. If the link doesn't work (sometimes they don't, for some reason) just do an ebay search for Cheeto. OK. I read this woman's story. Yeah, I can see how she'd want to believe it. But c'mon lady. You really think Jesus is giving you a sign in a bag of junk food?
If you go to ebay to check it out, do the Cheeto search anyway, just for kicks. You'll see that it's not just the legs of Jesus appearing in bags of Cheetos. There's the Virgin Mary carrying the Baby Jesus, and the pope praying.
Maybe Frito-Lay should consider opening a church or something.
Oh yeah. For non-religious people, there's the Statue of Liberty Cheeto.
And one more thing ... If you are envisioning anything in your Cheetos, you need to find a new hobby.
Get a grip, people! I heard last night on the radio that on ebay someone is selling a Cheeto that looks like ... Are ya ready for this? Jesus' legs. If the link doesn't work (sometimes they don't, for some reason) just do an ebay search for Cheeto. OK. I read this woman's story. Yeah, I can see how she'd want to believe it. But c'mon lady. You really think Jesus is giving you a sign in a bag of junk food?
If you go to ebay to check it out, do the Cheeto search anyway, just for kicks. You'll see that it's not just the legs of Jesus appearing in bags of Cheetos. There's the Virgin Mary carrying the Baby Jesus, and the pope praying.
Maybe Frito-Lay should consider opening a church or something.
Oh yeah. For non-religious people, there's the Statue of Liberty Cheeto.
And one more thing ... If you are envisioning anything in your Cheetos, you need to find a new hobby.
I'm nervous
The ultrasound is still 2 days away but, I'm already nervous about the impending surgery. Sometimes the Internet isn't such a good thing. Because of the research I did, I know what I have and what the treatment options are. I'm just waiting for the doctor to confirm it. I'm hoping for the best (an in-office procedure) but preparing for the worst (a hysterectormy). I think what's actually going to happen is somewhere in between, though.
I'm kind of scared because I've never had any kind of surgery before (except dental, with really good drugs) and I've known people (including my Mom) who have had bad experiences. I'm a fairly lucky person and bad stuff like that doesn't happen to me but, you never know. I'm also a paranoid hypochondriac, and that's not good when there's something really wrong.
Well, at least tomorrow I have a couple of fun things to do that should keep my mind off the ultrasound for a while. I hope so anyway.
Update: Since I posted this at 9:44 a.m. (PA time. I just don't want to switch from CA time. Nostalgia or something, I guess.) I'm feeling much better, but for a strange reason. My condition has caused my abdomen to protrude, so much so that I've gained 7 pounds in 5 days. I can barely zip up my jeans. I've been trying to convince myself, and other people, that I'm not getting fat. It's just the stupid tumors. And because of the stupid tumors causing my abdomen to protrude, there aren't a lot of clothes I can wear but I need something nice to wear tomorrow so I went to the store. I'm still the same size I was before the stupid tumors starting doing their thing. So, I guess that proves I'm not getting fat again. Yay!!!
The ultrasound is still 2 days away but, I'm already nervous about the impending surgery. Sometimes the Internet isn't such a good thing. Because of the research I did, I know what I have and what the treatment options are. I'm just waiting for the doctor to confirm it. I'm hoping for the best (an in-office procedure) but preparing for the worst (a hysterectormy). I think what's actually going to happen is somewhere in between, though.
I'm kind of scared because I've never had any kind of surgery before (except dental, with really good drugs) and I've known people (including my Mom) who have had bad experiences. I'm a fairly lucky person and bad stuff like that doesn't happen to me but, you never know. I'm also a paranoid hypochondriac, and that's not good when there's something really wrong.
Well, at least tomorrow I have a couple of fun things to do that should keep my mind off the ultrasound for a while. I hope so anyway.
Update: Since I posted this at 9:44 a.m. (PA time. I just don't want to switch from CA time. Nostalgia or something, I guess.) I'm feeling much better, but for a strange reason. My condition has caused my abdomen to protrude, so much so that I've gained 7 pounds in 5 days. I can barely zip up my jeans. I've been trying to convince myself, and other people, that I'm not getting fat. It's just the stupid tumors. And because of the stupid tumors causing my abdomen to protrude, there aren't a lot of clothes I can wear but I need something nice to wear tomorrow so I went to the store. I'm still the same size I was before the stupid tumors starting doing their thing. So, I guess that proves I'm not getting fat again. Yay!!!
Passive-aggressive
Sometimes these people bother me more than the obviously agressive people. If you're mad at me, let me know. Don't play stupid head games with me. I'm 44 years old and I've played enough games to last a lifetime, thank you very much. And, if you think no one's on to you, you're wrong.
Sometimes these people bother me more than the obviously agressive people. If you're mad at me, let me know. Don't play stupid head games with me. I'm 44 years old and I've played enough games to last a lifetime, thank you very much. And, if you think no one's on to you, you're wrong.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Haven't done this in a while
I haven't done any memes for a while but I just came from ann marie's and Sunday Brunch caught my eye. So, here it goes:
The 50 States
"In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything." -Jeffery F. Chamberlain
1) What state were you born in? Pennsylvania
2) What state do you currently live in? Pennsylvania
3) How many states have you been in? (and yes, driving through counts!) Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Maryland, Maine, New Hampshire, Michigan, Delaware, Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Texas, Nevada, Indiana, Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Colorado, Massechusets, Iowa, Rhode Island and, of course, California.
4) If you had your choice regardless of cost, which of the 50 states would you choose to live in? California
5) Which of the 50 states would you rather die than live in? Although there are parts of the state I like, mostly southern and Asbury Park, I'll have to say New Jersey.
I haven't done any memes for a while but I just came from ann marie's and Sunday Brunch caught my eye. So, here it goes:
The 50 States
"In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything." -Jeffery F. Chamberlain
1) What state were you born in? Pennsylvania
2) What state do you currently live in? Pennsylvania
3) How many states have you been in? (and yes, driving through counts!) Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Maryland, Maine, New Hampshire, Michigan, Delaware, Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Texas, Nevada, Indiana, Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Colorado, Massechusets, Iowa, Rhode Island and, of course, California.
4) If you had your choice regardless of cost, which of the 50 states would you choose to live in? California
5) Which of the 50 states would you rather die than live in? Although there are parts of the state I like, mostly southern and Asbury Park, I'll have to say New Jersey.
No! Really?!?!
Guess what? Britney Spears is pregnant. Can you believe it? Actually, I think this is old news to anyone who's been through a grocery store check-out line in the last two weeks or, well ... watched television! Maybe Britney, who posted the "news" on her Web site today, really was the last to know. Stranger things have happened, ya know? Actually, stranger things have happened to her. Remember her first marriage? It was so short that she probably doesn't remember it either.µ
Guess what? Britney Spears is pregnant. Can you believe it? Actually, I think this is old news to anyone who's been through a grocery store check-out line in the last two weeks or, well ... watched television! Maybe Britney, who posted the "news" on her Web site today, really was the last to know. Stranger things have happened, ya know? Actually, stranger things have happened to her. Remember her first marriage? It was so short that she probably doesn't remember it either.µ
Coincidence?
As the couple of regular readers I have already know, I'm kind of obsessed with Internet dating sites. I've never dated anyone from one of those sites. I just like looking at the profiles to get an idea of what's out there.
Anyway, today someone I know in person was talking about someone else but made a joke about internet dating while looking right at me. I know this person knows I have this blog but I wasn't quite sure if this person had ever actually been here before. Unless I'm just being overly paranoid, I suppose I should give this person a welcome-to-my-blog wave. *wave*a
As the couple of regular readers I have already know, I'm kind of obsessed with Internet dating sites. I've never dated anyone from one of those sites. I just like looking at the profiles to get an idea of what's out there.
Anyway, today someone I know in person was talking about someone else but made a joke about internet dating while looking right at me. I know this person knows I have this blog but I wasn't quite sure if this person had ever actually been here before. Unless I'm just being overly paranoid, I suppose I should give this person a welcome-to-my-blog wave. *wave*a
Strange noises
A few minutes ago I heard this strange noise. It was kind of squeaky, but not really. It's hard to describe. I looked around the room to try and figure out where the heck that strange noise could be coming from. Then, as I got closer to the open window, I figured it out. It's birds. Birds! I can't remember the last time I heard birds singing. It's been a long winter.
A few minutes ago I heard this strange noise. It was kind of squeaky, but not really. It's hard to describe. I looked around the room to try and figure out where the heck that strange noise could be coming from. Then, as I got closer to the open window, I figured it out. It's birds. Birds! I can't remember the last time I heard birds singing. It's been a long winter.
Wal-Mart
I'm not really a Wal-Mart fan, although I go there quite often simply for the convenience. It's much easier to get my groceries, DVDs and underwear all in the same store, especially when I need to get something after midnight and don't want to pay mini-mart prices.
With that said, I also don't like other stores using Wal-Mart as an excuse for going out of business. Contrary to popular belief, Wal-Mart does not sell everything. So, if you have a store, sell stuff Wal-Mart doesn't sell ... like good quality, name brand shoes and clothes for example. And, don't be overpricing your stuff. I mean, if you're selling flavored sparkling water for 82 cents and Wal-Mart is selling it for 50 cents, where do you think I'm going to buy my flavored sparkling water? If you're selling Oscar Mayer pre-cooked bacon for $2.99 and Wal-Mart is selling it for $2.50, guess where I'm going to go? I could overlook a 10-cent difference. I may even be able to overlook a 15-cent difference. But 30 or 40 cents, especially with gas prices as high as they are. No.
I'm not really a Wal-Mart fan, although I go there quite often simply for the convenience. It's much easier to get my groceries, DVDs and underwear all in the same store, especially when I need to get something after midnight and don't want to pay mini-mart prices.
With that said, I also don't like other stores using Wal-Mart as an excuse for going out of business. Contrary to popular belief, Wal-Mart does not sell everything. So, if you have a store, sell stuff Wal-Mart doesn't sell ... like good quality, name brand shoes and clothes for example. And, don't be overpricing your stuff. I mean, if you're selling flavored sparkling water for 82 cents and Wal-Mart is selling it for 50 cents, where do you think I'm going to buy my flavored sparkling water? If you're selling Oscar Mayer pre-cooked bacon for $2.99 and Wal-Mart is selling it for $2.50, guess where I'm going to go? I could overlook a 10-cent difference. I may even be able to overlook a 15-cent difference. But 30 or 40 cents, especially with gas prices as high as they are. No.
Monday, April 11, 2005
It's just pimping
Have y'all seen the ads for It's Just Lunch, the dating service for busy professionals? Well, just for fun I thought I'd give it a try. I got the phone call from their rep. Sounded cool. At first. Then she told me you're obligated to go on 16 dates in a year. You also have to call them within 24 hours of each date so they can fix you up with someone better if that date didn't turn out quite right. She also told me a bunch of other stuff that I don't remember, or is too inconsequential to write about. What I do remember is the cost. $1,200. That doesn't include the lunch or, if you can't do lunch, drinks after work.
I'm not really sure I would have done it even if I didn't have impending medical bills.
So, if there's anyone out there who was thinking about It's Just Lunch but wants to save $1,190 (give or take a few bucks), get in touch with me and we'll eliminate thepimp middle man.
Have y'all seen the ads for It's Just Lunch, the dating service for busy professionals? Well, just for fun I thought I'd give it a try. I got the phone call from their rep. Sounded cool. At first. Then she told me you're obligated to go on 16 dates in a year. You also have to call them within 24 hours of each date so they can fix you up with someone better if that date didn't turn out quite right. She also told me a bunch of other stuff that I don't remember, or is too inconsequential to write about. What I do remember is the cost. $1,200. That doesn't include the lunch or, if you can't do lunch, drinks after work.
I'm not really sure I would have done it even if I didn't have impending medical bills.
So, if there's anyone out there who was thinking about It's Just Lunch but wants to save $1,190 (give or take a few bucks), get in touch with me and we'll eliminate the
Saturday, April 09, 2005
I need opinions
Primary elections are being held here on May 17. As many of you may know, to get on the ballot a candidate needs a certain number of signatures of registered voters on nominating petitions. I signed the petition of a friend of mine who is running for a county position. Today in the mail I received a form letter from his opponent, the incumbent. It started with "I am writing to you because you signed my opponent's nominating petition ..." I am so angry right now because of the letter that I penned a reply. (Okay. I typed it.) I'm going to post the letter with some of the identifying (and Google-able) details left out. People who know me in person read this blog and I don't want them to form opinions of this guy based on what I write here. (Egotistical of me to think that would happen, isn't it?)
Before I post my letter to him, here is the sentence in his letter than raised my ire more than anything else:
"I have worked diligently to earn your confidence and respect."
Here's my reply:
Dear Mr. Candidate
I have never responded to a political candidates' propoganda before but, I was so infuriated after receiving your letter, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I didn't say something.
In the eight years I've worked for the newspaper I have interviewed you many times, both in person and over the phone. In fact, the first time you ran for the position I conducted the interview that ran in the election guide. I have been at several business-related events in your office. Before I moved out of the area in 2001 I was the beat that involved you directly reporter for the newspaper, meaning I was in your office an average of once a week.
So, as you can see, we've had quite a bit of contact since I started working for the newspaper in 1995. However, last Tuesday I passed you on the street and said "Hi your first name." Not only did you not respond, you looked as if you'd never even seen me before.
I don't usually tell people who I'm going to vote for but I just wanted to give you some food for thought.
Sincerely,
Anne my last name (as if regular readers don't know that already)
So, my question is: Would you send it? (By the way, since I blew off steam this way, I'll probably be able to live with myself even if I don't send it.)
Primary elections are being held here on May 17. As many of you may know, to get on the ballot a candidate needs a certain number of signatures of registered voters on nominating petitions. I signed the petition of a friend of mine who is running for a county position. Today in the mail I received a form letter from his opponent, the incumbent. It started with "I am writing to you because you signed my opponent's nominating petition ..." I am so angry right now because of the letter that I penned a reply. (Okay. I typed it.) I'm going to post the letter with some of the identifying (and Google-able) details left out. People who know me in person read this blog and I don't want them to form opinions of this guy based on what I write here. (Egotistical of me to think that would happen, isn't it?)
Before I post my letter to him, here is the sentence in his letter than raised my ire more than anything else:
"I have worked diligently to earn your confidence and respect."
Here's my reply:
Dear Mr. Candidate
I have never responded to a political candidates' propoganda before but, I was so infuriated after receiving your letter, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I didn't say something.
In the eight years I've worked for the newspaper I have interviewed you many times, both in person and over the phone. In fact, the first time you ran for the position I conducted the interview that ran in the election guide. I have been at several business-related events in your office. Before I moved out of the area in 2001 I was the beat that involved you directly reporter for the newspaper, meaning I was in your office an average of once a week.
So, as you can see, we've had quite a bit of contact since I started working for the newspaper in 1995. However, last Tuesday I passed you on the street and said "Hi your first name." Not only did you not respond, you looked as if you'd never even seen me before.
I don't usually tell people who I'm going to vote for but I just wanted to give you some food for thought.
Sincerely,
Anne my last name (as if regular readers don't know that already)
So, my question is: Would you send it? (By the way, since I blew off steam this way, I'll probably be able to live with myself even if I don't send it.)
Michael Jackson Part II
Until a few days ago, I said I hadn't written about the whole Michael Jackson mess because I think it's sad on so many levels. However, I do have something to say now.
During the last couple of days, witnesses have said they saw Jackson fondling and having oral sex with young boys. So why the hell didn't they say something before now?!?!?!? I think they are just as guilty, if not more so, than Michael Jackson.
Why do I say if not more so? This is a bit of a stretch but, hear me out on this. Before I go on, let me say I have a zero tolerance policy on child abuse so I'm not making excuses for him. Anyway, I think it's quite clear that Michael Jackson is screwed up mentally. I believe that part of his problem is that he doesn't even know what love is. His parents never showed him. He never had a healthy relationship when he was a child. He was never loved the way a child should be. Obviously, he didn't have a normal childhood and wasn't able to grow into adulthood, and learn things, the way normal people are supposed to. I believe that ... God, this is hard to write because I know some people are going to think I'm nuts and they're going to misunderstand what I'm saying. I believe that Michael Jackson was showing these children he loved them in the only way he knew how. As sick, wrong and perverted as it is, that's what I believe. If I'm right, he needs a lot of therapy ... in a mental institution, not just a once-a-week visit from a doctor who goes to Neverland.
Back to the witnesses. What's their excuse for not reporting him to the police when they saw the alleged incidents? If they're testifying in court now, they knew it was wrong then. They need to be charged with something, too.
With all I just said about why I think Michael did what he allegedly did, I will also add that, had I seen him performing oral sex on a 7-year-old, I would have been on the phone with the police in a nano second. I can't understand why, if it's all true, the witnesses stayed silent for 12 years.
Until a few days ago, I said I hadn't written about the whole Michael Jackson mess because I think it's sad on so many levels. However, I do have something to say now.
During the last couple of days, witnesses have said they saw Jackson fondling and having oral sex with young boys. So why the hell didn't they say something before now?!?!?!? I think they are just as guilty, if not more so, than Michael Jackson.
Why do I say if not more so? This is a bit of a stretch but, hear me out on this. Before I go on, let me say I have a zero tolerance policy on child abuse so I'm not making excuses for him. Anyway, I think it's quite clear that Michael Jackson is screwed up mentally. I believe that part of his problem is that he doesn't even know what love is. His parents never showed him. He never had a healthy relationship when he was a child. He was never loved the way a child should be. Obviously, he didn't have a normal childhood and wasn't able to grow into adulthood, and learn things, the way normal people are supposed to. I believe that ... God, this is hard to write because I know some people are going to think I'm nuts and they're going to misunderstand what I'm saying. I believe that Michael Jackson was showing these children he loved them in the only way he knew how. As sick, wrong and perverted as it is, that's what I believe. If I'm right, he needs a lot of therapy ... in a mental institution, not just a once-a-week visit from a doctor who goes to Neverland.
Back to the witnesses. What's their excuse for not reporting him to the police when they saw the alleged incidents? If they're testifying in court now, they knew it was wrong then. They need to be charged with something, too.
With all I just said about why I think Michael did what he allegedly did, I will also add that, had I seen him performing oral sex on a 7-year-old, I would have been on the phone with the police in a nano second. I can't understand why, if it's all true, the witnesses stayed silent for 12 years.
Cookies
Give me a freakin' break! No more "'C' is for cookie .." What's up with that? Yeah, I understand the politically correct, our kids are fat thing but, for heaven's sake, you can't change an American institution like that. And you know what, it's not Cookie Monster's fault kids are fat. Maybe it's time to make parents, not television, responsible for their children.
Here's a true story that shows that television doesn't have as much of an influence on some kids as some people would like us to believe.
At Christmas time, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for my little nephews. I made sure I had lots of cookies and sweet treats for them. But when my 2 1/2 year old nephew walked into the kitchen and saw the veggie tray he exclaimed "Broccoli!" He grabbed a piece, took and big bite, then grabbed a carrot, too. He didn't even eat a cookie all day. My sister told me that a few days earlier the little guy asked for carrot. She said she was too tired to peel a carrot for him and asked if he'd like a cookie instead. "No," he cried, "I want a carrot."
So there, Sesame Street, and the people who decided to change Cookie Monster. Take that!
Give me a freakin' break! No more "'C' is for cookie .." What's up with that? Yeah, I understand the politically correct, our kids are fat thing but, for heaven's sake, you can't change an American institution like that. And you know what, it's not Cookie Monster's fault kids are fat. Maybe it's time to make parents, not television, responsible for their children.
Here's a true story that shows that television doesn't have as much of an influence on some kids as some people would like us to believe.
At Christmas time, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for my little nephews. I made sure I had lots of cookies and sweet treats for them. But when my 2 1/2 year old nephew walked into the kitchen and saw the veggie tray he exclaimed "Broccoli!" He grabbed a piece, took and big bite, then grabbed a carrot, too. He didn't even eat a cookie all day. My sister told me that a few days earlier the little guy asked for carrot. She said she was too tired to peel a carrot for him and asked if he'd like a cookie instead. "No," he cried, "I want a carrot."
So there, Sesame Street, and the people who decided to change Cookie Monster. Take that!
Charles and Camilla -- My Take
I'm a big Princess Diana fan, not just because she was a beautiful princess but because of all the good things she did as well. With that said, I've forgiven the prince for everything he put Diana through. It's easier to forgive than to hold grudges.
So, here are my thoughts on the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall. They've been friends for 34 years and, obviously, in love for many of those years. They've both been through a lot, including marriage to other people. There's a line in "When Harry Met Sally ..." that reminds me of this. "... you'll have to go through the rest of your life knowing someone else is married to your husband." Can you imagine how painful that would be? I can. The Best Friend and I have known each other for 31 years. One of these days I'll write about our marriages to other people, and how that felt. The trick, though, is burying the pain and remaining friends. It's hard but it can be done. Camilla did it and she's being rewarded for it today. I'm not saying any of this the way I want to say it. I guess what it boils down to is that I'm happy for both of them.
I'm a big Princess Diana fan, not just because she was a beautiful princess but because of all the good things she did as well. With that said, I've forgiven the prince for everything he put Diana through. It's easier to forgive than to hold grudges.
So, here are my thoughts on the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall. They've been friends for 34 years and, obviously, in love for many of those years. They've both been through a lot, including marriage to other people. There's a line in "When Harry Met Sally ..." that reminds me of this. "... you'll have to go through the rest of your life knowing someone else is married to your husband." Can you imagine how painful that would be? I can. The Best Friend and I have known each other for 31 years. One of these days I'll write about our marriages to other people, and how that felt. The trick, though, is burying the pain and remaining friends. It's hard but it can be done. Camilla did it and she's being rewarded for it today. I'm not saying any of this the way I want to say it. I guess what it boils down to is that I'm happy for both of them.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Well, okay
Maybe I'm not as tired as I thought I was. I'm going to post after all.
Back in high school The Best Friend had a best guy friend, too. Then, they weren't. I didn't know what happened but I figured he'd tell me eventually. I didn't think "eventually" would be 27 years later, though. Ya think high school girls are the only ones who play games with people's heads? Nope. This one guy, who The Best Friend used to be friends with, decided they weren't going to be friends anymore and, if he wasn't going to be friends with The Best Friend, no one else should be either. That's the short version. Worked out for the best, though. Who wants to be friends with a backstabber? And, ya know, all that high school crap was just crap anyway. True friends will still be friends 27 years after high school.
Maybe I'm not as tired as I thought I was. I'm going to post after all.
Back in high school The Best Friend had a best guy friend, too. Then, they weren't. I didn't know what happened but I figured he'd tell me eventually. I didn't think "eventually" would be 27 years later, though. Ya think high school girls are the only ones who play games with people's heads? Nope. This one guy, who The Best Friend used to be friends with, decided they weren't going to be friends anymore and, if he wasn't going to be friends with The Best Friend, no one else should be either. That's the short version. Worked out for the best, though. Who wants to be friends with a backstabber? And, ya know, all that high school crap was just crap anyway. True friends will still be friends 27 years after high school.
Lots to write about ...
... but I'm too tired to do it. I tried to stay awake for the funeral but couldn't, totally. I saw parts of it, though. I'm sure I'll get other chances.
I wish I could get my brain functioning well enough to write about the strange dream I had. Maybe just by writing this much, I'll remember to write about it later and, I hope, before it leaves me. I wonder why I had a weird dream on Friday morning instead of Saturday. Daylight savings time, maybe?
... but I'm too tired to do it. I tried to stay awake for the funeral but couldn't, totally. I saw parts of it, though. I'm sure I'll get other chances.
I wish I could get my brain functioning well enough to write about the strange dream I had. Maybe just by writing this much, I'll remember to write about it later and, I hope, before it leaves me. I wonder why I had a weird dream on Friday morning instead of Saturday. Daylight savings time, maybe?
Thursday, April 07, 2005
American Idol
I don't remember ever blogging about American Idol, but I have to say something. I can not stand Scott Savol!! Haven't liked him from Day One. Liked him even less after learning about the domestic violence rap. I didn't get to watch the show Tuesday because I was at work. So yesterday when I heard on morning radio that he didn't do very well, I was excited. Finally, I thought, he'll be outta there. Then, when the results show aired and he was in the bottom three I was even more excited. But ... but ... but ... Nikko got the boot instead. What is wrong with people? Get rid of Scott!!!
Well, as long as I'm here I might as well keep going about Idol. I like Bo. He'll probably win. But he's not my favorite. I did like Carrie but now I think she was overrated in the beginning. If I ever vote (I've only ever voted once for one person ... Fantasia the week after she was in the bottom three.) I'll vote for Constantine.
Anne ... out.
I don't remember ever blogging about American Idol, but I have to say something. I can not stand Scott Savol!! Haven't liked him from Day One. Liked him even less after learning about the domestic violence rap. I didn't get to watch the show Tuesday because I was at work. So yesterday when I heard on morning radio that he didn't do very well, I was excited. Finally, I thought, he'll be outta there. Then, when the results show aired and he was in the bottom three I was even more excited. But ... but ... but ... Nikko got the boot instead. What is wrong with people? Get rid of Scott!!!
Well, as long as I'm here I might as well keep going about Idol. I like Bo. He'll probably win. But he's not my favorite. I did like Carrie but now I think she was overrated in the beginning. If I ever vote (I've only ever voted once for one person ... Fantasia the week after she was in the bottom three.) I'll vote for Constantine.
Anne ... out.
In a jam (Everyone used it so I might as well use it, too.)
When I used to eat PB&J, I always put peanut butter on both slices of bread and jelly in the middle. I cut the crusts off put it in the Snackmaster, which would crimp the edges. So, Smuckers, pay up for stealing my idea! Better yet, anyone want to join me in a class action law suit?
By the way, I will boycott Smuckers until they end this frivolity.
When I used to eat PB&J, I always put peanut butter on both slices of bread and jelly in the middle. I cut the crusts off put it in the Snackmaster, which would crimp the edges. So, Smuckers, pay up for stealing my idea! Better yet, anyone want to join me in a class action law suit?
By the way, I will boycott Smuckers until they end this frivolity.
Wack Job
Any regular fans of Countdown with Keith Olbermann (are there regular fans of Keith Olbermann?) has seen the wacky car chases. One of the wackiest was shown on Tuesday's show. Last night, guest host Alison Stewart talked with Miami Police Chief John Timoney about the chase, which happened in L.A. Timoney called the driver a "wack job." Alison asked "Is wack job an offical police term?" Timoney: "On the East Coast it is regarding West Coast drivers."
By the way, the chase ended shortly after the "wack job" drove into a donut shop. Yeah. Like the cops would never follow him into a donut shop.
Any regular fans of Countdown with Keith Olbermann (are there regular fans of Keith Olbermann?) has seen the wacky car chases. One of the wackiest was shown on Tuesday's show. Last night, guest host Alison Stewart talked with Miami Police Chief John Timoney about the chase, which happened in L.A. Timoney called the driver a "wack job." Alison asked "Is wack job an offical police term?" Timoney: "On the East Coast it is regarding West Coast drivers."
By the way, the chase ended shortly after the "wack job" drove into a donut shop. Yeah. Like the cops would never follow him into a donut shop.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Sadistic? Makes ya wonder
This morning I was telling someone who doesn't read this blog about The Mystery of the Missing Car Key. He insists that my mother knew all along that the key was in her other coat pocket and that she was just torturing me. Of course I don't believe that. However, it did make me recall an incident that happened in January.
After Mom's last hospital stay, she was homebound for six weeks so I had to run all her errands for her. One day, she needed some prescriptions refilled and needed me to go to two other places. She gave me a check for the pharmacy and cash for the other things. I went to the pharmacy and told them I'd be back in hour to pick up the drugs. I then did the other errands. Then, I needed to go the bathroom so I went home, gave my mother her change and receipts, and went upstairs. When I came back downstairs I talked to her for a couple of minutes before heading back to the pharmacy. After parking the car, I reached into my coat pocket for the check. It wasn't there. Other pocket? Not there. Jeans pockets? Not there. Glove compartment? Not there. Floor of the car? Not there. Panic set in. The check was signed but nothing else was filled out, meaning anyone could pick it up and clean out Mom's checking account. I retraced all my steps for the last hour hoping, praying, that I'd find it. I didn't. Now it was more than panic. It was sheer terror. I knew I had no choice but to tell her I lost the check and she'd have to call the bank and stop payment on it. I prayed again, this time asking that whoever had the check didn't have time to cash it yet. I walked into the house, full of more fear than I was filled with in 1978 when I walked through a dark parking lot after seeing "Halloween" at the theater. The first thing I noticed after walking into the living room was the smirk on my mother's face. She then handed me the check and the following conversation ensued:
Mom: I wondered how long it would take you to realize you didn't have the check.
Me: Where did you find it?
Mom: You handed it to me with the receipts and change.
Me: You knew I didn't have it when I left the house?
Mom: I didn't think it would take you this long to realize you didn't have it.
Me: It didn't take me this long to realize it. I've been retracing my steps, searching for it, for an hour.
Mom: Oh.
As I said, makes ya wonder.
This morning I was telling someone who doesn't read this blog about The Mystery of the Missing Car Key. He insists that my mother knew all along that the key was in her other coat pocket and that she was just torturing me. Of course I don't believe that. However, it did make me recall an incident that happened in January.
After Mom's last hospital stay, she was homebound for six weeks so I had to run all her errands for her. One day, she needed some prescriptions refilled and needed me to go to two other places. She gave me a check for the pharmacy and cash for the other things. I went to the pharmacy and told them I'd be back in hour to pick up the drugs. I then did the other errands. Then, I needed to go the bathroom so I went home, gave my mother her change and receipts, and went upstairs. When I came back downstairs I talked to her for a couple of minutes before heading back to the pharmacy. After parking the car, I reached into my coat pocket for the check. It wasn't there. Other pocket? Not there. Jeans pockets? Not there. Glove compartment? Not there. Floor of the car? Not there. Panic set in. The check was signed but nothing else was filled out, meaning anyone could pick it up and clean out Mom's checking account. I retraced all my steps for the last hour hoping, praying, that I'd find it. I didn't. Now it was more than panic. It was sheer terror. I knew I had no choice but to tell her I lost the check and she'd have to call the bank and stop payment on it. I prayed again, this time asking that whoever had the check didn't have time to cash it yet. I walked into the house, full of more fear than I was filled with in 1978 when I walked through a dark parking lot after seeing "Halloween" at the theater. The first thing I noticed after walking into the living room was the smirk on my mother's face. She then handed me the check and the following conversation ensued:
Mom: I wondered how long it would take you to realize you didn't have the check.
Me: Where did you find it?
Mom: You handed it to me with the receipts and change.
Me: You knew I didn't have it when I left the house?
Mom: I didn't think it would take you this long to realize you didn't have it.
Me: It didn't take me this long to realize it. I've been retracing my steps, searching for it, for an hour.
Mom: Oh.
As I said, makes ya wonder.
More tales of the traffic-law-challenged
I'll think of a better title soon. I'm sure there will be other installments of this feature.
Last night I was stopped at a red light with my left turn signal on. I heard honking from the vehicle behind me. I turned around, thinking the driver knew me and just wanted to wave "hello." Well, there was hand-waving but not the friendly greeting kind. The honking and hand-waving continued until the light turned green. Because of my self-esteem issues I asked myself "Did they just pass a left-on-red law that I didn't hear about?"
About an hour ago, I was driving out of Wal-Mart, where the speed limit is 25. The car ahead of me was going 15. It was also straddling the line between the center turning lane and the right driving lane. The vehicle did not turn left. It then moved into the right lane. As we got to the end of the road and the traffic light, I assumed the car ahead of me would make a right turn because it was in the right lane. I turned on my left turn signal and started to pass the car. When I was just inches from passing, the car pulled into the left lane. We waited at the red light. When the light changed, the car ahead of me turned, then stopped. The left turn signal went on because the driver wanted to go back into Wal-Mart. Problem? There were four vehicles behind this car that had now blocked oncoming traffic. After much horn-honking by all of us, the driver re-thought the left turn and went straight. I would comment on the next half-mile of going 25 in a 35 (except when he crossed the railroad tracks going 10mph) but it would just get me angry all over again.
Speaking of angry, I'm not done with stupid motorists yet. A block from my house I was following an older lady in her car. She stopped on the non-parking side of the street. I assumed she was letting someone out or in because she was a good foot or so from the curb. No. She was parking. Not only was she parking, she spent a good four or five minutes getting out of the car, getting her crutches out, getting situated and getting the hell out of the road. (I'm not criticizing her need for crutches. I'm commenting on her stupidity.) I'm sorry she needs to be on crutches for whatever reason but does that give her the right to hold up traffic, and back it up for an entire block?
I'll think of a better title soon. I'm sure there will be other installments of this feature.
Last night I was stopped at a red light with my left turn signal on. I heard honking from the vehicle behind me. I turned around, thinking the driver knew me and just wanted to wave "hello." Well, there was hand-waving but not the friendly greeting kind. The honking and hand-waving continued until the light turned green. Because of my self-esteem issues I asked myself "Did they just pass a left-on-red law that I didn't hear about?"
About an hour ago, I was driving out of Wal-Mart, where the speed limit is 25. The car ahead of me was going 15. It was also straddling the line between the center turning lane and the right driving lane. The vehicle did not turn left. It then moved into the right lane. As we got to the end of the road and the traffic light, I assumed the car ahead of me would make a right turn because it was in the right lane. I turned on my left turn signal and started to pass the car. When I was just inches from passing, the car pulled into the left lane. We waited at the red light. When the light changed, the car ahead of me turned, then stopped. The left turn signal went on because the driver wanted to go back into Wal-Mart. Problem? There were four vehicles behind this car that had now blocked oncoming traffic. After much horn-honking by all of us, the driver re-thought the left turn and went straight. I would comment on the next half-mile of going 25 in a 35 (except when he crossed the railroad tracks going 10mph) but it would just get me angry all over again.
Speaking of angry, I'm not done with stupid motorists yet. A block from my house I was following an older lady in her car. She stopped on the non-parking side of the street. I assumed she was letting someone out or in because she was a good foot or so from the curb. No. She was parking. Not only was she parking, she spent a good four or five minutes getting out of the car, getting her crutches out, getting situated and getting the hell out of the road. (I'm not criticizing her need for crutches. I'm commenting on her stupidity.) I'm sorry she needs to be on crutches for whatever reason but does that give her the right to hold up traffic, and back it up for an entire block?
An open letter to His Serene Highness Prince Albert of Monaco
Dear Prince Albert,
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your father. I realize, now that you are the monarch, you are left with a problem.
Should the treatment for my current medical condition not leave me infertile, I'll still have a couple of child-bearing years left. I would be honored to marry you and produce an heir to the throne. Although, in my adult life, I have never liked the idea of bearing a child, I would make an exception in this case. And there would be nannies and other people to help raise the future prince or princess, right?
Marrying an American from Pennsylvania worked out pretty well for your father, you must admit. And, c'mon, do you really think having one of your sisters or their children ascend to the throne would be in the best interests of your country?
Think about it, okay?
Sincerely,
The future Princess Anne of Monaco
Dear Prince Albert,
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your father. I realize, now that you are the monarch, you are left with a problem.
Should the treatment for my current medical condition not leave me infertile, I'll still have a couple of child-bearing years left. I would be honored to marry you and produce an heir to the throne. Although, in my adult life, I have never liked the idea of bearing a child, I would make an exception in this case. And there would be nannies and other people to help raise the future prince or princess, right?
Marrying an American from Pennsylvania worked out pretty well for your father, you must admit. And, c'mon, do you really think having one of your sisters or their children ascend to the throne would be in the best interests of your country?
Think about it, okay?
Sincerely,
The future Princess Anne of Monaco
My prediction
Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi, Archbishop of Milan
My longshot prediction:
Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Archbishop of Washington
He's a longshot because I think the sex abuse scandal is still too fresh in everyone's mind. However, there's a saying that goes "If a cardinal goes into the conclave thinking he'll come out a pope, he'll come out a cardinal." McCarrick has been saying that of the 117 eligible cardinals, 116 would make a good pope. He would not. That's the right attitude.
Runner-up predictions:
Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn of Vienna
The only problem I see with him is that he's too young. The cardinals might not want another long papacy.
Cardinal Francis Arinze
I'm not sure the world is ready for a black pope, despite the fact that (whether they want to admit it or not) geography tells us that Jesus was not a white man.
Non-papal prediction:
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner will break up soon. He will then hook up with Jennifer Aniston.
Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi, Archbishop of Milan
My longshot prediction:
Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Archbishop of Washington
He's a longshot because I think the sex abuse scandal is still too fresh in everyone's mind. However, there's a saying that goes "If a cardinal goes into the conclave thinking he'll come out a pope, he'll come out a cardinal." McCarrick has been saying that of the 117 eligible cardinals, 116 would make a good pope. He would not. That's the right attitude.
Runner-up predictions:
Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn of Vienna
The only problem I see with him is that he's too young. The cardinals might not want another long papacy.
Cardinal Francis Arinze
I'm not sure the world is ready for a black pope, despite the fact that (whether they want to admit it or not) geography tells us that Jesus was not a white man.
Non-papal prediction:
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner will break up soon. He will then hook up with Jennifer Aniston.
Diva Drama
Grow up, ladies. And lest you forget ... A new, hotter housewife could move onto Wisteria Lane and steal the spotlight from all of you.
Grow up, ladies. And lest you forget ... A new, hotter housewife could move onto Wisteria Lane and steal the spotlight from all of you.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Signs, signs everywhere
So, don't ya think Chuck and Camilla should have gotten the hint by now? Seems to me there's some weird kind of cosmic energy telling them not to tie the knot. Last night, after reporting that the couple had changed the date so as not to conflict with the pope's funeral, Keith Olbermann said the new date is the same date that the officers stepped aboard the Titantic and that the Beatles announced they were breaking up.
It should also be noted (by me, not Keith Olbermann) that the prince's grandmother's funeral was held on that date in 2002.
So, don't ya think Chuck and Camilla should have gotten the hint by now? Seems to me there's some weird kind of cosmic energy telling them not to tie the knot. Last night, after reporting that the couple had changed the date so as not to conflict with the pope's funeral, Keith Olbermann said the new date is the same date that the officers stepped aboard the Titantic and that the Beatles announced they were breaking up.
It should also be noted (by me, not Keith Olbermann) that the prince's grandmother's funeral was held on that date in 2002.
Writing
I haven't felt much like writing lately, aside from this blog, which is a bad thing because that's what I do for a living. The Best Friend tells me I should try developing a sit-com based on the stuff that goes on in the newsroom. It would be kind of like WKRP except at a newspaper instead of a radio station. Or maybe it would be more like a Carl Hiaasen novel except in half-hour weekly installments.
At any rate, I don't know how to write a script. I've seen scripts for plays but I'm sure writing one is more complicated than reading one.
The idea definitely has possibilites, though. I need to think more seriously about this.
I haven't felt much like writing lately, aside from this blog, which is a bad thing because that's what I do for a living. The Best Friend tells me I should try developing a sit-com based on the stuff that goes on in the newsroom. It would be kind of like WKRP except at a newspaper instead of a radio station. Or maybe it would be more like a Carl Hiaasen novel except in half-hour weekly installments.
At any rate, I don't know how to write a script. I've seen scripts for plays but I'm sure writing one is more complicated than reading one.
The idea definitely has possibilites, though. I need to think more seriously about this.
Complications
I stayed here instead of moving back to California because it was quite obvious, even before any medical professionals weighed in on the subject, that my mother can't live by herself. She can go days, even weeks, without needing any help. But when she does, she does, and it's just easier for me to be there. As a sidenote, I wish people would stop asking me if I'm back here for good. My answer is always "I'm here until my mother doesn't need me anymore." She'll be 77 next month, has congestive heart failure, is on oxygen 24/7 and lost most of the use of her left arm due to a stroke (and she's left-handed) so what do you think "until she doesn't need me anymore" means? Please, people. Don't make me say it.
Anyway, because I'll have to have surgery (as I said, I'm hoping for the least invasive kind) I'll be out of commission for a little while. I'm not going to speculate on how long because I have no idea how serious everything is yet. So, I've been worried about what to do about Mom. Well, I just found out my brother is going to be here at the end of the month, for a week. (He lives 9 hours away. My sister lives 3 hours away.) So, if we can hold off on the surgery until then, all should be well.
I told my mom I don't want my brother and sister to know yet what's going on with me, simply because I don't know exactly yet so there's no need for them to worry. I'm doing enough worrying for all of us.
I stayed here instead of moving back to California because it was quite obvious, even before any medical professionals weighed in on the subject, that my mother can't live by herself. She can go days, even weeks, without needing any help. But when she does, she does, and it's just easier for me to be there. As a sidenote, I wish people would stop asking me if I'm back here for good. My answer is always "I'm here until my mother doesn't need me anymore." She'll be 77 next month, has congestive heart failure, is on oxygen 24/7 and lost most of the use of her left arm due to a stroke (and she's left-handed) so what do you think "until she doesn't need me anymore" means? Please, people. Don't make me say it.
Anyway, because I'll have to have surgery (as I said, I'm hoping for the least invasive kind) I'll be out of commission for a little while. I'm not going to speculate on how long because I have no idea how serious everything is yet. So, I've been worried about what to do about Mom. Well, I just found out my brother is going to be here at the end of the month, for a week. (He lives 9 hours away. My sister lives 3 hours away.) So, if we can hold off on the surgery until then, all should be well.
I told my mom I don't want my brother and sister to know yet what's going on with me, simply because I don't know exactly yet so there's no need for them to worry. I'm doing enough worrying for all of us.
Driving
The Best Friend calls me a few times a week, mostly when he's driving home from work. During every single call there is one "moron" who does something stupid on the road. Cuts him off, almost rear-ends his vehicle. Well, you name it. Yesterday, the person ahead of him was attempting to merge but was going "4 miles an hour and ran out of road." Of course that lead to yet another discussion of bad drivers. He told me he thinks his state passed a law that he didn't hear about: People making left turns get the right of way. Before I tell you what he said about this, I have to tell you that a couple of days ago when I was at a four-way stop some idiot follwed the car in front of him through the intersection instead of waiting for me and the other motorist at the opposite stop sign to go. I said "In what alternate universe would it be your turn to go?" Back to yesterday. The best friend said "In what alternate universe does someone making a left turn have the right-of-way?" Are we in sync or what?
This story doesn't have to do with driving. It's about parking. When I go to my favorite convenience store I always park in the same place so I don't have to back out. I just pull out, go around the building and back onto the street. Well, yesterday I pulled into my spot. A van pulled up and parked diagonally in front of me. Diagonally! (and I don't care if I didn't spell it correctly). That, of course, meant I had to back up before I pulled out. It was no great hardship. It was just the principle of the thing.
The Best Friend calls me a few times a week, mostly when he's driving home from work. During every single call there is one "moron" who does something stupid on the road. Cuts him off, almost rear-ends his vehicle. Well, you name it. Yesterday, the person ahead of him was attempting to merge but was going "4 miles an hour and ran out of road." Of course that lead to yet another discussion of bad drivers. He told me he thinks his state passed a law that he didn't hear about: People making left turns get the right of way. Before I tell you what he said about this, I have to tell you that a couple of days ago when I was at a four-way stop some idiot follwed the car in front of him through the intersection instead of waiting for me and the other motorist at the opposite stop sign to go. I said "In what alternate universe would it be your turn to go?" Back to yesterday. The best friend said "In what alternate universe does someone making a left turn have the right-of-way?" Are we in sync or what?
This story doesn't have to do with driving. It's about parking. When I go to my favorite convenience store I always park in the same place so I don't have to back out. I just pull out, go around the building and back onto the street. Well, yesterday I pulled into my spot. A van pulled up and parked diagonally in front of me. Diagonally! (and I don't care if I didn't spell it correctly). That, of course, meant I had to back up before I pulled out. It was no great hardship. It was just the principle of the thing.
note: I wrote these yesterday but Blogger was being difficult so I couldn't post them until now.
I swear I'd kill myself
I was a little late getting myself up & out of the house this morning so I was forced to watch Live with Regis & Kelly, because my mother watches it. Regis was talking about his experiences at a Yankees game and said he sat between Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly. Oh ... my ... God!!! Can you even imagine sitting anywhere near them?!?! One would be bad enough. Two would be the definition of "hell on earth." But all three??? OK. Maybe I wouldn't kill myself but I would say "Screw the game. I'm outta here."
New name?
I read somewhere that NBC may soon end its affilliation with Microsoft, which means MSNBC would need a new name. My prediction. NBC24. Remember, you heard it here first.
Celebrity blogs
Do you ever wonder if celebrity bloggers read other blogs? I mean real people's blogs? I'm not talking about Rosie O'Donnell and Barbra Streisand reading each other's blogs. I mean, do you think Rosie O'Donnell would ever read your blog? And I'm not talking about Monica Crowley and Ron Regan looking for the "popular" blogs and talking about them on their show either. That's the not the same as real people surfing blogs and commenting and blogrolling and linking. To me, that's part of the fun of blogging -- getting to "meet" new people and find out how they think and feel. So, back to the original question. Do you ever wonder if celebrity bloggers read other blogs? Or, do they already know enough people that they don't think they need to meet the real people who inhabit the blogosphere?
I swear I'd kill myself
I was a little late getting myself up & out of the house this morning so I was forced to watch Live with Regis & Kelly, because my mother watches it. Regis was talking about his experiences at a Yankees game and said he sat between Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly. Oh ... my ... God!!! Can you even imagine sitting anywhere near them?!?! One would be bad enough. Two would be the definition of "hell on earth." But all three??? OK. Maybe I wouldn't kill myself but I would say "Screw the game. I'm outta here."
New name?
I read somewhere that NBC may soon end its affilliation with Microsoft, which means MSNBC would need a new name. My prediction. NBC24. Remember, you heard it here first.
Celebrity blogs
Do you ever wonder if celebrity bloggers read other blogs? I mean real people's blogs? I'm not talking about Rosie O'Donnell and Barbra Streisand reading each other's blogs. I mean, do you think Rosie O'Donnell would ever read your blog? And I'm not talking about Monica Crowley and Ron Regan looking for the "popular" blogs and talking about them on their show either. That's the not the same as real people surfing blogs and commenting and blogrolling and linking. To me, that's part of the fun of blogging -- getting to "meet" new people and find out how they think and feel. So, back to the original question. Do you ever wonder if celebrity bloggers read other blogs? Or, do they already know enough people that they don't think they need to meet the real people who inhabit the blogosphere?
Monday, April 04, 2005
I'm not a good sick person
I don't deal well with sickness, discomfort and, especially, pain. The only good thing about any of this is that I know I'm not as much of a hypochondriac as I thought I was. The pain is real, and all the other symptoms that go along with this thing are real, too. As I said in a previous post, however, knowing that it's real doesn't make dealing with it any easier.
Anyway, being sick and knowing that I'm going to have some kind of surgery (I'm hoping for the least invasive kind) has made me think even more about Living Wills, if it's even possible for me to think about that even more. I've made it quite clear to everyone I know that if I can't read, write or enjoy watching movies, pull the plug. This includes a feeding tube. I don't even care if there's a debate on whether I'm in a persistent vegetative state or if I'm minimally conscious. No artifical stuff. Got it? Moreover, if someone doesn't get it and hooks me up to something anyway and there's a debate on whether to pull the plug and/or tubes, do not, I repeat, do not distribute videotapes of me to every news organization in the free world so people I don't even know can pontificate on whether I should live or die. And please, for the love of God, do not allow Tom Delay to weigh in on the debate. To me, that would be worse than a slow death.
I don't deal well with sickness, discomfort and, especially, pain. The only good thing about any of this is that I know I'm not as much of a hypochondriac as I thought I was. The pain is real, and all the other symptoms that go along with this thing are real, too. As I said in a previous post, however, knowing that it's real doesn't make dealing with it any easier.
Anyway, being sick and knowing that I'm going to have some kind of surgery (I'm hoping for the least invasive kind) has made me think even more about Living Wills, if it's even possible for me to think about that even more. I've made it quite clear to everyone I know that if I can't read, write or enjoy watching movies, pull the plug. This includes a feeding tube. I don't even care if there's a debate on whether I'm in a persistent vegetative state or if I'm minimally conscious. No artifical stuff. Got it? Moreover, if someone doesn't get it and hooks me up to something anyway and there's a debate on whether to pull the plug and/or tubes, do not, I repeat, do not distribute videotapes of me to every news organization in the free world so people I don't even know can pontificate on whether I should live or die. And please, for the love of God, do not allow Tom Delay to weigh in on the debate. To me, that would be worse than a slow death.
The Mystery of the Missing Car Key
Last Thursday as I was getting ready to leave for the doctor's office, I realized I had lost my mom's car key. I checked all three coats I'd had to wear during the previous couple of days. When the temperature range is between 32 and 68, it's necessary to have several coats at the ready at all times. The key wasn't in any of the coats. I thought maybe I left the key in my jeans. Nope. Then I remembered I washed that pair of jeans. I checked the washing machine, the dryer and the entire laundry area. No key. I didn't have anymore time to search because I had to get to the doctor. I grabbed the back-up key. I would resume the search when I got back, I told myself. Well, then came the evening of wallowing in self-pity, so I postponed the search. The next day, however, I started looking again. I took everything out of my coat pockets. No key. Checked the jeans and the laundry area again. No key. Checked the pockets of my tan pants and black pants, thinking that maybe I'd worn them and forgotten. No key. I checked my mom's coat pocket, thinking that maybe she'd forgotten to put it on the table, where we leave it for each other. No key. Then I checked every compartment of her highly compartmentalized purse. No key there either. At one point I began to worry that I'd dropped it someplace. Then I quickly realized that if I'd dropped it someplace I wouldn't have been able to drive home. I resigned myself to the fact that today I was going to have to get a replacement key made and explain my irresponsibility to my mother, something I was not looking forward to.
Today, as I was getting ready to leave the house my mother asked me to leave the key so she wouldn't have to use the back-up key anymore. She was afraid of losing it, then we'd be SOL. Of course she didn't say SOL but that's what she meant. So, before I had a chance to get the duplicate made, I had to fess up and tell her I couldn't find the key. I told her everything I done, everyplace I looked since Thursday. She, too, was stumped. Then it hit her. When she used the car on Thursday, five hours before my doctor's appointment, she wore a different coat than the one she usually wears. When she got home, she took the coat upstairs to hang it up. We checked the pocket. Key.
So, I went through nearly 3 1/2 days of searching and frustration and she went through 3 days of being angry with me (although she didn't tell me until this morning) because her memory isn't what it used to be. But don't tell her that. She doesn't have a memory problem.
Last Thursday as I was getting ready to leave for the doctor's office, I realized I had lost my mom's car key. I checked all three coats I'd had to wear during the previous couple of days. When the temperature range is between 32 and 68, it's necessary to have several coats at the ready at all times. The key wasn't in any of the coats. I thought maybe I left the key in my jeans. Nope. Then I remembered I washed that pair of jeans. I checked the washing machine, the dryer and the entire laundry area. No key. I didn't have anymore time to search because I had to get to the doctor. I grabbed the back-up key. I would resume the search when I got back, I told myself. Well, then came the evening of wallowing in self-pity, so I postponed the search. The next day, however, I started looking again. I took everything out of my coat pockets. No key. Checked the jeans and the laundry area again. No key. Checked the pockets of my tan pants and black pants, thinking that maybe I'd worn them and forgotten. No key. I checked my mom's coat pocket, thinking that maybe she'd forgotten to put it on the table, where we leave it for each other. No key. Then I checked every compartment of her highly compartmentalized purse. No key there either. At one point I began to worry that I'd dropped it someplace. Then I quickly realized that if I'd dropped it someplace I wouldn't have been able to drive home. I resigned myself to the fact that today I was going to have to get a replacement key made and explain my irresponsibility to my mother, something I was not looking forward to.
Today, as I was getting ready to leave the house my mother asked me to leave the key so she wouldn't have to use the back-up key anymore. She was afraid of losing it, then we'd be SOL. Of course she didn't say SOL but that's what she meant. So, before I had a chance to get the duplicate made, I had to fess up and tell her I couldn't find the key. I told her everything I done, everyplace I looked since Thursday. She, too, was stumped. Then it hit her. When she used the car on Thursday, five hours before my doctor's appointment, she wore a different coat than the one she usually wears. When she got home, she took the coat upstairs to hang it up. We checked the pocket. Key.
So, I went through nearly 3 1/2 days of searching and frustration and she went through 3 days of being angry with me (although she didn't tell me until this morning) because her memory isn't what it used to be. But don't tell her that. She doesn't have a memory problem.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Weird Saturday morning dreams
I had a very weird dream this morning. I was walking along the street The Coach lives on. I heard someone walking behind me but didn't turn around to see who it was. After a minute or so, the person passed me. It was The Coach. The weird part wasn't that he didn't talk to me, or even acknowledge my presence. The weird part is that he was wearing lime green overalls and a navy blue T-shirt. Odd fashion choice for a conservative dresser, as he is.
This dream came a week after I had a weird dream involving The Best Friend. In that dream, he and I were having dinner and enjoying ourselves ... until his ex-girlfriend, who in non-dream-life doesn't even recognize him when she sees him, invited herself to join us. He started ignoring me and giving all his attention to her. Then, another of his ex-girlfriends joined us. I got insanely jealous and caused quite a scene, even as he was telling me I was being ridiculous and I had nothing to be jealous about. I woke up in the middle of my rampage so I really don't know how the situation would have resolved itself. The weird part about this didn't happen in the dream, though. The weird part is that I'm not one bit jealous when he talks about his wife, yet I'm insanely jealous about ex-girlfriends he doesn't even keep in touch with.
Now I'm anxious to see what next Saturday's dreams will be.
I had a very weird dream this morning. I was walking along the street The Coach lives on. I heard someone walking behind me but didn't turn around to see who it was. After a minute or so, the person passed me. It was The Coach. The weird part wasn't that he didn't talk to me, or even acknowledge my presence. The weird part is that he was wearing lime green overalls and a navy blue T-shirt. Odd fashion choice for a conservative dresser, as he is.
This dream came a week after I had a weird dream involving The Best Friend. In that dream, he and I were having dinner and enjoying ourselves ... until his ex-girlfriend, who in non-dream-life doesn't even recognize him when she sees him, invited herself to join us. He started ignoring me and giving all his attention to her. Then, another of his ex-girlfriends joined us. I got insanely jealous and caused quite a scene, even as he was telling me I was being ridiculous and I had nothing to be jealous about. I woke up in the middle of my rampage so I really don't know how the situation would have resolved itself. The weird part about this didn't happen in the dream, though. The weird part is that I'm not one bit jealous when he talks about his wife, yet I'm insanely jealous about ex-girlfriends he doesn't even keep in touch with.
Now I'm anxious to see what next Saturday's dreams will be.
Doesn't make it easier
Knowing that I have a textbook case of this, and that it's not cancer does not make the symptoms any easier to deal with. It definitely makes the wait until the ultrasound, and forthcoming discussion of treatment, easier. But I'm still in pain and uncomfortable. Under the circumstances, those being the Pope's "worsening health," I feel like a wuss complaining about my backaches, leg pains and almost constant trips to the bathroom. That, I suppose, is just one of the myriad reasons the Pope will eventually be cannonized. I will not. I know that to be sainted a person has to have performed at least three miracles. In my case, I don't think getting through the day without strangling cashiers who don't know how to make change would constitute a miracle. I'm pretty sure that resisting the temptation to slam my car into vehicles whose drivers don't use turn signals wouldn't count either. I'm almost positive that saying "No, thank you" to the non-low-carb ice cream isn't going to cut it either. In my mind, those are miraculous feats but, I'm fairly certain there are other people who perform the same feats everyday.
Knowing that I have a textbook case of this, and that it's not cancer does not make the symptoms any easier to deal with. It definitely makes the wait until the ultrasound, and forthcoming discussion of treatment, easier. But I'm still in pain and uncomfortable. Under the circumstances, those being the Pope's "worsening health," I feel like a wuss complaining about my backaches, leg pains and almost constant trips to the bathroom. That, I suppose, is just one of the myriad reasons the Pope will eventually be cannonized. I will not. I know that to be sainted a person has to have performed at least three miracles. In my case, I don't think getting through the day without strangling cashiers who don't know how to make change would constitute a miracle. I'm pretty sure that resisting the temptation to slam my car into vehicles whose drivers don't use turn signals wouldn't count either. I'm almost positive that saying "No, thank you" to the non-low-carb ice cream isn't going to cut it either. In my mind, those are miraculous feats but, I'm fairly certain there are other people who perform the same feats everyday.
Ya can't make this stuff up
I think we all need a little respite from the death, dying and disease. Here it is:
After work, I stopped at the convenience store to get a cup of decaf. At midnight, they close down their registers, and can't reopen them until they're both Z'd out. In those few mintues, the clerk has to do everything by hand which, obviously, takes a little longer. Tonight, it took even longer than usual because there was a new girl on.
At first, I thought it was my imagination that the woman ahead of me in line was getting increasingly nervous with each person who got behind us in line. As she put her items on the counter, she blushed. Her items were 4 chocolate covered cherries, a 99 cent package of roasted almonds and a box of condoms. The clerk had to write down all the items, and their prices, on a piece of paper so she could ring them in later. You guessed it. She didn't know the price of the condoms and had to ask. The woman got even redder. The clerk then told her the total. $4.78. The woman handed her a $50. Seeing as her cash drawer was practically new, which I assume means she only had $100 in it, she didn't have change, which meant the woman's items had to stay on the counter even longer while the clerk went to the back to get change. There was something going through my head as I looked at the odd collection of items. I didn't have the guts to say it out loud. A man behind me did. "Nuts, cherries and rubbers? Yeah. That fits."
See? I told ya you can't make that stuff up. Maybe it was funnier while it was happening but, it made me chuckle.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled death watch ... or divine miracle, as the case may be.
Wouldn't it be something if the Pope pulled through? Wouldn't that be the perfect way for God to say "See, people. I am still around and I do still perform miracles."
I think we all need a little respite from the death, dying and disease. Here it is:
After work, I stopped at the convenience store to get a cup of decaf. At midnight, they close down their registers, and can't reopen them until they're both Z'd out. In those few mintues, the clerk has to do everything by hand which, obviously, takes a little longer. Tonight, it took even longer than usual because there was a new girl on.
At first, I thought it was my imagination that the woman ahead of me in line was getting increasingly nervous with each person who got behind us in line. As she put her items on the counter, she blushed. Her items were 4 chocolate covered cherries, a 99 cent package of roasted almonds and a box of condoms. The clerk had to write down all the items, and their prices, on a piece of paper so she could ring them in later. You guessed it. She didn't know the price of the condoms and had to ask. The woman got even redder. The clerk then told her the total. $4.78. The woman handed her a $50. Seeing as her cash drawer was practically new, which I assume means she only had $100 in it, she didn't have change, which meant the woman's items had to stay on the counter even longer while the clerk went to the back to get change. There was something going through my head as I looked at the odd collection of items. I didn't have the guts to say it out loud. A man behind me did. "Nuts, cherries and rubbers? Yeah. That fits."
See? I told ya you can't make that stuff up. Maybe it was funnier while it was happening but, it made me chuckle.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled death watch ... or divine miracle, as the case may be.
Wouldn't it be something if the Pope pulled through? Wouldn't that be the perfect way for God to say "See, people. I am still around and I do still perform miracles."
Friday, April 01, 2005
The Pope
I don't even know what to say. He's been the Pope for over half my life, my entire adult life. He defined what a Pope should be. I'm very sad but it's comforting to know that he is ready to die and that he will probably soon be with the God he obviously loves so much.
I also feel honored and blessed to have lived at the same time as this man and Mother Teresa. I wish and pray that more people would follow their examples.
I don't even know what to say. He's been the Pope for over half my life, my entire adult life. He defined what a Pope should be. I'm very sad but it's comforting to know that he is ready to die and that he will probably soon be with the God he obviously loves so much.
I also feel honored and blessed to have lived at the same time as this man and Mother Teresa. I wish and pray that more people would follow their examples.
My Grandma was Cool
Every year on April 1 when my brother, sister & I were little we would go to my grandparents' house and my mom would always say "Remember to tell Grandma her shoe is untied, and when she looks down say 'April Fools!'" So, we did. Every year, Grandma would laugh, we'd laugh. I was about 7 or 8 when I said to myself "Wow. Grandma falls for that every year. I guess old people do forget things." It wasn't until a couple years later that I realized she was just humoring us.
This doesn't have anything to do with April Fools but it's about my Grandma. She was a wonderful and prolific baker. Pies and bread were her specialties. One day I was helping her bake apple pies by peeling the apples. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until, in her heavy Italian accent, she said "The way some people peel apples bothers me. You're one of them." I couldn't help but laugh. Then, she did teach me how to do it right.
OK. I can't resist.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.
You can stop rolling your eyes now.
Every year on April 1 when my brother, sister & I were little we would go to my grandparents' house and my mom would always say "Remember to tell Grandma her shoe is untied, and when she looks down say 'April Fools!'" So, we did. Every year, Grandma would laugh, we'd laugh. I was about 7 or 8 when I said to myself "Wow. Grandma falls for that every year. I guess old people do forget things." It wasn't until a couple years later that I realized she was just humoring us.
This doesn't have anything to do with April Fools but it's about my Grandma. She was a wonderful and prolific baker. Pies and bread were her specialties. One day I was helping her bake apple pies by peeling the apples. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until, in her heavy Italian accent, she said "The way some people peel apples bothers me. You're one of them." I couldn't help but laugh. Then, she did teach me how to do it right.
OK. I can't resist.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.
You can stop rolling your eyes now.